


The Emotional Roadshow

by a_cruel_cruel_girl



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Baby Boy, Dog Breath, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, The Emotional Roadshow, joshler - Freeform, jyler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-21 23:19:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9571232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_cruel_cruel_girl/pseuds/a_cruel_cruel_girl
Summary: EDITED AND RE-UPLOADED WITH NEW CHAPTER.UNDER THE SAME NAME IN MY COLLECTION AND SERIES, "THE EMOTIONAL ROADSHOW"The Emotional Roadshow.Follows Twenty one Pilots Emotional Roadshow Tour as closely as possible.The three close friends are bewildered when they realize that friends aren't usually this close.Told from Tyler Joseph's perspective you get a view of tour, his close friendship with Josh, his marriage with Jenna and his realization of polyamory.This polyamory story shows how his marriage with Jenna welcomes Josh into their relationship. They are all so close that it is barely a change from their normal friendship.Hope you enjoy.





	1. The Emotional Roadshow

The Emotional Roadshow.

Cincinnati OH, May 31st 2016, US Bank Arena.

Tyler's Pov:

Sick. This tour is the sickest thing me and Josh have done.

I remember sitting for hours contemplating lyrics that fit homely to a piano melody. I remember the very ache in my bones as I struggled to translate my minds language into something that wasn't so jumbled. But I also remember the fierce strokes of pride that lapped at my skin once I'd composed the final song.

Here we are. Me and Josh. Standing silently in front of an empty concert hall preparing for our first show on the biggest tour we've ever done.

My mind is still so thick with thoughts its a jungle of harassment but I know that standing with my, "big boy socks" as Josh likes to call them, I will be able to survive anything. I have survived Blurryface.

He still taunts me but everything that's happened has defeated him. I owe the clique. I owe Josh. I owe the crew. I owe my family. But I also owe myself.

I'm trying to be the happiest I can be.  
\---  
Stepping out onto the stage is like breathing for the first time even in soundcheck. This is a new beginning and I am so excited for this tour, we have helped plan and make this tour the best we can.

Taking a new fresh breath, I hear the raw banging of Josh's drums which bring me out of my loud thoughts, and as I suddenly peer upwards to gaze at the abnormally glowing red lights, I realize I missed my queue for HeavyDirtySoul.

"Tyjo you okay bud" shouts Josh's horse voice.

I blink rapidly for a second and shuffle my head to the side to look at a red haired frantic looking Josh.

Words don't even reach my throught though so I cough slightly and nod briefly, hopefully showing my apologetic look.

Josh simply nods back, he knows I need my own headspace, just like I know he needs his.

Even though Blurryface is my insecurities, everyone has a Blurry face, even Joshie.

I hate that he does though, Josh doesn't deserve self-doubt he deserves his own pride and I hope I've helped him.

Me and josh are close, closer than brothers but we are both very scared of emotions and we dislike the tense feeling we both get when talking about each others insecurities.

I often have to explain mine to him, writing songs about "tying a noose around my mind" and having days when I can't look at the sun due to the feelings of drowning in my own head complicates the way people look at you.

I have to explain stuff to Josh to show that I'm okay. Otherwise he gets worried.

As the beginning of the blurry air waves from the start of HeavyDirtySoul begin to play, I close my eyes tight holding in any leaking emotion, careful to box my mind away.

My head drops to the ground, opening my eyes quickly, enough time to see the smudged dark plastic that covers the stage before I'm looking up again.

"There's an infestation in my minds imagination..."

The words are out my mouth before I even think, and as I continue the opening song I am fuelled with adrenaline and new rush of pride. I made it.

As soundcheck ends, I shuffle to Josh. His red hair already stuck down to his neck with sweat and his swinging arms hitting the drums.

"Yuck, Josh is all gross"

"Don't be mean Baby Boy" whined Josh.

Josh squinted and smiled at me and we both let out a breathy laugh. Both of us started to collect various objects off of the black stage and retreat from the boiling area into the cooled, carpeted hallway.

We followed the red carpet down to a big room which had a big photo of us on the door.

"Don't you think its weird?" Questioned Josh.

" Hmm?" I replied obviously lost in my thoughts again.

"Doesn't matter" Josh said back even though it did matter to him, and the idea of them being famous really did confuse him.

Sure they worked for it, but he was just a boy from Ohio who likes capri-suns. Nothing special.

I hadn't been listening but realized Josh's sudden scared tone that had laced his reply. And as I hesitantly opened the door to our dressing room I said " You okay man?"

And Josh simply bobbed his head as if nothing was wrong

I questioned myself as to whether I should keep asking, begging for an answer.

Heck it !

"No... Josh, what's up man?"

Josh shuts his red eyes tightly and shakes his head slightly letting his ruffles of crimson hair flutter around.

"Its weird, we're famous now"

" I know man, we've come so far and we deserve it, you'll always tell me if you're in an uncomfortable situation right ? Like in an interview or something, just tell me Josh. " I say lovingly.

Again neither of us particularly like to discuss our disorders but Joshua's anxiety is overpowering.

" Yea, thanks man, love you dude"

"Love you too Dog Breath"

And then we hugged. Locked in our embrace we both lost a bit of our souls to heaven. Josh was so warm and he kept me alive. Sometimes you need a hug. Now was one of those times.

We both pulled away, sensing how abnormally long that hug was but ignoring it because it is me and Josh, we're closer than brothers.And neither of us care that it's slightly odd,how close we are.

"Come on, I bet I'll win in a game of Mario Kart!"

"No you won't Baby Boy, I'm the leading winner"

I just stuck my tongue out childishly.  
"Race you!"

And then I ran.

\----

After a game of Mario kart, I began to realise how soft the couch was, it was squishy so I melted I to it and before you know it my eyes were closed.

As I said Josh is what keeps me alive so of course, like a magnet, I leant on him, and just before I went to sleep I heard.

"Goodnight Baby Boy, I'll wake you up for the show later."

\---

As I feel manly rough hands collide with my bare arms, I open my eyes squinting at the sudden harsh artificial light.

'Show time Ty.' Josh's small voice erupts into the silent air, making me jump.

I shift my eyes to look at Josh's cotton pink hair and see him sniggering at my reaction to his soft voice.

'Shut uppp Jish'

Josh's pink lips suddenly tighten and close, trying to muffle his cruel laughter, it takes my breath away how cute he looks. His white shiny teeth grasping his lip as he bites it, makes me shudder with warmth.

'Sorry Ty-guy'

Josh holds his large arms out, offering me his hand. I sigh tiredly and rub my eyes.

'You okay?' Says Josh Smalley.

I raise my dull eyes to see his worried facial expression, and simply smile up at him.

I give him my hands so he can pull me up with all his muscle, Josh is a mountain of muscle however I'm pretty scrawny but Josh doesn't mind... and neither does Jenna.

'I should call Jenna and get ready'

\---  
Phone to Jenna:

Tyler: Hey Jenna.

Jenna: Hey Ty.

Tyler: How are you dear? Josh says hi but he's getting ready right now.

Jenna: Yea I'm okay, I went shopping and brought some jewellery but nothing much has been going on, you? Say hi to him from me, I miss him too.

Tyler: Tours crazy. Everything so different that even though I'm really happy, I'm really scared. I know its been a day and this is the first day but I miss you a lot.

Jenna: It's okay to be scared Ty, and I know you can get all in your head sometimes but I love you and you can call me anytime, and Josh promised me he'd look after you. He has been hasn't he? I miss you too darling, your my world but I'll be there soon.

Tyler: Thank you. Of course he has, its Josh.

Jenna: Look its 6:30, you better get ready for this show mister, and don't you dare lie and say your ready, we're married I know you aren't! Besides if Josh is only just getting ready then the is no way you're ready before him.

Tyler: You got me there Jen, I miss you, I can't wait for you to come out here with us. I love you

Jenna: I love you too, with all my heart, tell Josh too. I'll be there sooner than you can imagine.

Tyler: I will, I'll talk to you later, night dear.

Jenna: Have a good show, don't break anything! Love you.

Tyler: you too.

\---  
'Jenna says hey and that she loves and misses you.' I whisper softly to Josh as we wait to be called backstage.

'What date is she coming on tour, I miss her too?'

' So do I buddy.' I say sympathetically.

I ignore his question as the date I'm looking so forward too is at least a month away.

Josh's wondering eyes gaze at me endearingly before moving forward and hugging me again, his warmth and sense of homeliness brings me back to the surface of my heavy thoughts.

'Jenna also told us not to break anything so try not to do that either Josh, I don't want you hurt.' I say softly to him, still locked in his cozy embrace.

He pulled his head back and looked into my hazel eyes then simply hummed and winked before Mark hollered at us.

'Stop making me the third wheel, I'll try not to break any of my bones either!' He said nodding his head innocently and then chuckling.

'Jenna loves you two Mark, don't get jealous, just because she actually said hey to me!' Josh countered back childishly, sticking out his small pink tongue while squinting as he chuckled too.

I joined in 'Personally I think Jenna loves me most'

And at that remark both of the other boys looked at me and started arguing.

However over there smalls shouts of childish humour Michael tapped my shoulder and cued us for a 10 second count down before the first song began.

Adrenaline coursed my cold veins but I knew as soon as I ran up through the stage entrance/ exit, heat would grow and impregnate my body, red hot blood would boil as I sung the lyrics that burnt my brain, and I would be happy so ridiculously happy.

\----

3

2

1

My red sock clad feet battered along the black rubber of the stage, the darkness that covered the vast arena sprang to life and red and white booming lights shattered the peaceful mirage.

Josh beat down with his lean muscle, knocking the drum beats steadily to the song, my mouth opened, I still get shocked.

Grabbing the dangling black microphone that hung lowly from the bland structure, I persevered through the loud shock and began to sing the opening lyrics to HeavyDirtySoul.

Throughout the show I spoke and danced trying to make it individual and unique. I spoke words trying to make the clique understand my views and opinions, my main one being; Josh is amazing.

'Would you all please give up for my best fren on the drums over there... Josh Dun everybody.'

Each time Josh's eyes would sparkle like a kid on Christmas, and honestly every show does feel like Christmas because its a miracle we got here.

Towards the end of the show I stopped playing the song Trees half way through.

'To all my darling frens. Turn to whoever is next to you. And you make frens with them, we are all trying to get by, and we are all lonely and afraid but frens can fix that, so turn to whoever is next to you and make frens with them, Josh is my best fren and -

'Tyler's mine' Joshua shouted across the stage with a giggle.

I giggled too, 'Thanks buddy' '- make more frens and if you haven't already find your Josh or Your Tyler'

I then sent Josh a cheeky smile and continued the song.

\---

'We are Twenty One Pilots and so are you!'

\---

Walking off stage was always more than going on, I was always tired and sweaty but I was fuelled, the stomach in my brain had been fed and I was no longer starving.

Mark and other crew members patted mine and Josh's back congratulating us on another show telling us to go shower.

We both agreed thankful for the showers at the venue. We both also congratulated the crew and thanked them for another night before Michael shouted at us to get a move because we smell really bad.


	2. Two Happy Boys

The Emotional Roadshow.

Pittsburgh PA, June 1st, Stage AE.

We drove through the night. It is about 3am and neither me or Josh can sleep. Both so pumped on adrenaline and most probably awake due to that we have both drank nearly a litre of Red Bull each.

We both know we'll be shattered tomorrow but we still sit and snack on the cookies that Jenna gave us before we left for tour. We are sat snuggled close wrapped in a soft teal blanket that Mark gave us before shuffling to his bunk.

We decided to watch Harry Potter. And when I say we, I mean I bullied Josh into watching it.

'This movie is dumb'

'Josh no it isn't'

I gazed at him silently pleading him to be quiet for the rest of the movie.

Both of us fell asleep like that.

The teal blanket protecting us from everything as we slumbered with cookie crumbs stuck to our faces and clothes.

\---

We woke up to Mark sitting across from us with what smelt like a cup of coffee. His eyes shifting over us as we yawned tiredly.

'You guys did this all last tour and you both complained of cricked necks, so you better not complain because you both know the consequences.'

We both bit our lips and giggled, Mark was sometimes very motherly over us but he really only wanted to slow his inevitable headache that was usually caused by our stupid complaints and comments. We both love teasing him.

I soon get up stretching my limbs and offering to get Josh a cup of coffee and some toast. As I walk slowly into the makeshift kitchen and gather the ingredients, I hear Mark mutter to Josh:

' No matter how long I've been friends with you and no matter how long I tour with you, I will never understand how close you guys are, it is very adorable, you're probably sick of hearing that but I can never get over it.' and then he chuckles.

I smile at that. I am close with Josh and I love that.

\---

Soundcheck is its normal ritual. It is strange to feel like this is normal even though tour should feel alien. I know after doing it for so long it is expected but touring feels like it should be a weird foreign thing that I never should get used to because it is not someone's regular life.

But it is because it is my regular life and I Think is very strange that I can get so into schedule so quickly, even after one day of not touring for a couple of months.

As me and Josh stop playing our instruments to the final song, we hear numerous shouts that notifies me that soundcheck is over and it is time for the crew to set up the lights and etc for the show.

I find that my feet are taking me off the stage and into the the corridor that should take me to mine and Josh's rooms. I hear Josh scuttling behind me, following me into the homely room that shall vacate us for the next couple of hours.

'Do you wanna go out, just for a little bit?'

'Sure but where?' Josh replies swiftly, not missing a beat.

'I heard that the is a lovely bakery near here, it is famous and it sounded delicious, Jenna said we should go.'

'Well if Jenna recommended it then we really must, mustn't we?' Josh replied quickly again.

\---

Both of us got ready to leave the venue. Josh had on his favorite shirt. It was also my favorite. His NASA shirt was one he wore repeatedly and secretly had 2 copies of just so he could wear them more.

We both shuffled down the pavement. Josh's Red-y Pink hair flapping in the wind distracted me lots, but it was possibly the prettiest thing.

As I got directions up for this Bakery we both realized we a little more than hungry at the rumbling of our stomachs.

'Good job we are getting food' smiled Josh and I couldn't but agree.

As we entered the small bakery the smell of delicious foods filled our noses and we both smiled knowing we'd made the best choice.

As we sat down and enjoyed fresh juice and macaroons, I couldn't help but feel that this setting was very date like. A small unique cafe with novelty baked goods, screamed cute date idea to me. I should definitely take Jenna or josh to more places like this.

It was one of those thoughts I didn't think much about.

Taking Josh or Jenna to a date place seemed very suitable to me.

\---

We were again standing to the right of the stage waiting for a 10 second countdown for the first song, but while we waited we chatted animatedly to Mark.

'The macaroons were so good!" josh exclaimed directly to mark.

Mark sighed and said 'Man i'm hungry now'

Both me and Josh smirked cheekily at each other and I pulled the cute novelty box of macaroons from behind my back.

Well lucky for you we got you and the crew some too.

\---

After the show we were again allowed to take a shower however this time the was only one. I kindly offered Josh to have a shower first. One he kindly took. A Josh stood in the shower I stood and waited for him. But knowing that Josh was so close and so.. Naked. Got my mind wondering, It wasn't in a weird way I just wondered what he looked like, although me and Josh are very close I've never seen him. The explicit thoughts shook my mind until I heard the familiar dinging of my phone.

My iPhone showed me that Jenna had sent me a snapchat.

It was a cute selfie of her saying 'Hey'

And just as Josh stepped out the shower with his towel around his hips he saw me with my phone.

I re-located my phone so that we were both in it and shouted at him to smile. I then captioned it 'HEY BEAUTIFUL'

I started collecting things for my shower and waited for Jenna to respond. This time it was just text but she'd sent 'That better be directed at me ;)'

Chuckling I responded with 'Of course not we both know Josh is beautiful'

'Josh talk to Jenna, I'm Gonna shower' 

\---

The Emotional Roadshow.

Clarkson MI, 2nd of June, DTE Energy Music Theatre.

Day off.

Once again Josh and me found ourselves squished up on the sofa late at night, however this time it was okay because we had a day off. This day would mostly be travelling however the fun wouldn't stop just because of that.

Both of us slept snuggled warmly into each other, it was just regular me and Josh. By the morning I woke splayed across Josh's lap while his head lay elegantly on the top if the low sofa.

Josh's mouth hung gaping open with drool pooling around his lips. It was kinda gross but kinda cute. His small eyes squinted and shut keeping his mind in a fortress of sleep.

I didn't dare wake him, his innocence was adorable and I thought he should get some sleep even though i'd barely had an hour due to inevitable over-thinking.

I couldn't move because of this, i'd feel bad if my restlessness woke him up. However all I really wanted to do was surprise Josh with some coffee and breakfast.

I slowly but surely shifted my legs off of Josh's warm lap and replaced my warmth with the teal blanket.

Josh moaned sleepily 'Tyler, m'come back I wanna cuddle'

It was possibly the cutest thing Tyler had ever witnessed.

'Joshie go back to sleep' I whispered and watched as Josh cuddled into the blanket and wished that it was me he was cuddling instead. Josh's cuddles were even better than Jenna's.

After I continued my journey and strode to the front of the bus where I asked the driver if we could stop soon due to me wanting breakfast.

Luckily we were 20m from a service station and pulled over straight away.

'Score!' I said quietly under my breath.

As soon as we stopped I rushed out to the nearest coffee shop which happened to be a Starbucks. I ordered Josh a Americana and myself a Latte with some blueberry muffins. I then ordered Mark a plain black coffee and a croissant.

As soon as I paid and left the station, I bounded onto the bus and noticed Josh laying there with his sleepy eyes slightly open.

'Hey Dog Breath'

'Morning Baby Boy'

I then presented his breakfast too him, maybe a little to dramatically which made Marks coffee spill a little

Josh only laughed at my excitement and thanked me for his breakfast.

'Be back one second Josh'

I slowly walked through the length of the bus until I got to Marks bunk where I found him changed and on his phone.

After I gave him his breakfast I left him to wake up other crew members to use the stations facilities and get refreshments.

\---

When we got to Clarkson we decided to walk around and get some fresh air however didn't have much of a plan. This led to me and Josh wondering of from everyone else because we got to excited about little things and ended up running away. Not one of our finest moments but the crew know we are basically children.

A small ice-cream van drove by slowly wafting a delicious smell to us.

'Wait here' exclaimed Josh before I could stop him.

He walked over to the van and brought one massive strawberry cone with lots of sprinkles and generous amounts of source. As he wandered back he said 'They're so big I thought we could just have one between us'

'But they were so expensive Josh you didn't have too.'

'But I owe you, but I just kinda wanted to Ty.'

I smiled and blushed. Then Josh pulled me into a hug and kissed my head.

\---

3rd of June

Show day.

The day was very average and normal but the show was unique.

The red flashing lights blinding me. The scarlet haze was deafening. But I loved it.

As I fell backwards after "being shot" my elbows spiraled into a cloud of pain. The sudden shock of the injury made me stutter on my lyrics minutes after the fall had occurred. But the adrenaline that coursed my veins built up my courage and spent itself driving me forward.

I realized that the pain was an addicting plead pulling at BlurryFace. But I pushed him down and sung the words.

'I've got two faces, Blurry's the one I'm not.'

The clique radiated with sympathy and empathy, pity and pride.

\---

After the show Josh noticed the worried look that covered my usually neutral face.

'What's up Ty?'

'Let's skype Jenna'

'Okay T'

\---

*Josh texts Jenna telling her he's worried about Tyler and that he seems off but doesn't want to push him so that maybe Jenna should ask Tyler if he's okay*

\---

The small loading symbol bubbled and moved as both Josh and me waited for Jenna to answer our call.

'Hey you two happy boys' Jenna giggled out, a big smile covering her small face.

'Hey Jen' We both said at the same time, we then looked at each other and burst into giggles at our synchronized speech.

We spoke about stupid things like the latest TV shows and Silly viral videos. But after we'd all stopped our chuckling and laughing, Jenna looked at me with wondering eyes and a small smile and said.

'Ty what's wrong, I can see in your eyes you're worried about something.

I looked at Josh and saw him nodding in agreement. I sighed and bit my lip, scrunching my eyes up.

Josh pulled me in and hugged me.

'Is it Blurry Ty?' Jenna almost whispered, barely able to speak of my insecurities, the ones that ate me up inside and made me fear living.

'A little bit' I whisper back.

Both Josh and Jenna's worried glances going unnoticed.

'It's not that bad just, I hit my elbows when I fell and it was almost lovely.'

'You can't get into hurting yourself again Ty' Josh whispered his voice breaking and water filling his eyes.

'I won't' I said breaking the quiet atmosphere we'd made accidentally. 'I won't' I repeated smiling.

Jenna smiled but Josh still looked worried.

' I know just how to fix this!' exclaimed Jenna. 'Expect a parcel at the Grand Rapids venue tomorrow.'

This left both me and Josh in confusion.

'I have to go my dears, It's very late and I can't stay up all night like you two. Love you both, have a good time until I speak to you next.'

She then blew us a kiss and we said our goodbyes and then hung-up.


	3. "You're a Cute Couple"

The Emotional Roadshow.

Grand Rapids MI, June 4th,Van Andel Arena

'I wonder what Jenna's surprise is.' I wonder out loud.

'I don't know but i'm sure it'll be wonderful.' Josh answered.

'Probably. Its jenna.'

We both walked off the bus and slowly made our way into the arena. We both turned down the twisted corridor and made our way into our dressing room.

There she was.

Standing in all her beauty.

Jenna waved biting her pink lip.

We both gasped and ran hugging her.

She wrapped her slender tanned arms around us.

'Hello babies'

We both smiled and only held tighter onto her.

\---

And maybe Josh should of felt awkward because he wasn't dating Jenna and this was quite intimate as it was the first time Jenna and Tyler had seen each other in a week due to Jenna being with her family just before they went on tour.

But he didn't, he only felt complete and so did Tyler and Jenna.

\---

We lay snuggled up on the sofa. Me and Josh's head layed over Jenna's thighs.

We are giggling about our set and about how Josh keeps losing his freaking drumsticks because of how intense he plays.

And as we, me and Jenna giggled, Josh muttered 'shh' multiple times but we were already laughing and cackling, so much so that Josh's first reaction was to turn his head and sink his teeth into Jenna's thigh as a way of play fighting, of course not so much that it actually hurt her.

But Jenna's voice hitched only slightly. A flicker of lust and a flicker of guilt both passed her eyes so quickly that it was hard to see but I knew her too well to miss it.

We all quieted down after laughing and I decided that maybe I was too close to Josh, maybe Jenna was but I loved them and I almost didn't mind that Josh bit my wife's thigh in a way that turned her on. The only thoughts that went through my mind were the following 3:

I should try that on her next time.

Josh should try that on me some time.

We could all do that. And I want that.

It was 3 thoughts that significantly changed my mindset. By the end of tour I want this.

\---

Josh went to the toilet so I sat up and kissed Jenna sweet lips, they tasted of yogurt.

I then nestled my small head into the nook of Jennas neck and whispered softly something that was so risky and dangerous It could end everything. But i had to know.

'Did you... did you like him biting you.'

Jenna's eyes widened, 'What, Ty of course not'

I pulled away from her fruity smelling hair. 'Don't lie Jen, you looked like you liked it.'

Jenna's eyebrows pulled together, 'Maybe a little'

I lay my head back again 'So did I'

And then Josh waked back in the room. ,

\---

Jenna said goodbye before the show as she would have to leave midway through in order to catch her plane back to her family.

The wasn't a time that I could pull Jen aside because well I don't do that, I never exclude Josh at all.

\---

Our show was pretty normal however the plunging feeling of pain from falling down, again chilled my bones and woke me up from this painless sleep I was in. I felt more alive.

\---

After the show when Josh showered, I called Jenna.

Ring, Ring.

T: Hey Jen.

J:Hey hun.

T: So about the thing from earlier?

J:What thing. She says sarcastically.

T:You know what.

J:Yea...Well then.

T: I mean would you want him to be with... us.

J:He basically already is.

T:I think he makes me happy. I mean not that you don't but when he isn't with us it's like we aren't as...

J: Complete..?

T: Yea, do you feel the same?

J: Yea I do but I never wanted to say anything because I thought that it'd seem like I was being a slut and wanting both of you.

T: No Jen, i'd never think that, but if we came out if we did do it, a lot of harsh opinions would be thrown around.

J:I know however let's just let it happen first.

T: What should we do?

J:Wait till I get there on the 15th.

T:Okay and then we what just tell him.

J:Yea I guess.

T: Okay, Me and Josh will skype you tomorrow anyway.

J:Bye honey, I love you.

T: Bye, Love you too.

\---

At this point Tyler's head was sort of all over the place. Was this against probably everything he learnt as a christian? Yes.

Tyler was in no way homophobic at all, and as along as you weren't rude or against the law for obvious bad reasons etc, then he didn't mind what people did with themselves. However being Monogamous was one of those things that hadn't quite caught "trend" yet. No one ever brought it up at all, it wasn't like racism or homophobia.

Those things get argued and talked about however monogamy was just sort of the rule that his culture followed and so did most people, besides the cultures that the american school system decided were appropriate he didn't really know anything about, even though he travelled abroad constantly he just never bothered to think about how people live their romantic lives differently, it certainly never bothered him so he had never questioned it and it wasn't like where he went they were all in your face about it, he can't even remember if he'd seen it anywhere abroad.

It wasn't about his parents either, or his family at all. I mean even though they were all religious and they may not agree with it he know that his family wouldn't disown him or love him any less, they would just be confused and try to understand it some how. They also grew up knowing how close they all were, in the last five years no one had ever questioned Tyler or any of them to his knowledge about their romantic lives. Beside their fans which he knew were just obsessing over the idea of it being their idols not because they were genuinely interested in the idea of polygamy or the logistics of them as people.

If it was the fourth today, he had to get through eleven days before he could tell Josh, before he felt safe.

Eleven days.

\----

Rosemont IL, 5th June, Allstate Arena

Ten days.

Toronto ON, {6th and} 7th June,Molson Canadian Amphitheatre

Eight days.

Cleveland OH, 8th June, Wolstein Center at Cleveland State University

Seven days.

A week.

All these dates passed Tyler so quickly. It was like he had felt he was dreaming the whole time. A constant unending paradox of unuseful existential thoughts about polygamy.

Josh had started to notice him being off.

It wasn't that Tyler was less or more affectionate it was more that Tyler shut himself off and just thought.

He couldn't hold a conversation.

He kept crying.

Josh was worried it was Blurryface, and a little bit of it was. When Tyler had one of these unexpected episodes of dreariness Blurryface's pain was usually the thing that kept him from going numb entirely.

As the beginning of Stressed out filled my ears instead of singing the usual lyrics, Blurryface insisted on twisting the words bitterly, The anxiety of fans disliking Stressed out cracked my mind open as my truest words became the stigma of "emo".

Something I worked so hard on, to find fans not letting themselves become excited for just because it was "overstayed and overplayed"

 

*'I wish I wrote a different song no one's ever heard*

My heart breaks as a realise my words are turned against me even in the form of a song, my release has become my enemy.

*I wish my mom would just admit she's sick of every word*

A flash back to when Stressed Out came on at the supermarket with my family and instead of smiling and bobbing along like usual my mum rolled her eyes and sarcastically sung along.

*Overplayed, overstayed, it was a smash hit,*

My fans hated it, my mum hated in, Josh hated it, I hated it

 

*funny how overplayed songs sound like crap*

A lyric from fairly local crossed my mind, 'This song will never be on the radio'. Everyone still loved that song.

*I was told our true fans don't like this song,*

Do the clique really hate it so much?

*but I hope they sing along,  
but I hope they sing along'*

A tear slides down my cheek.

and then I finish the song and continue the show as normal.

\---

The sharp pains in his elbows had been bringing him and out of what felt like metaphorical consciousness.

Josh noticed that after his falls Tyler smiled the biggest he'd seen him the entire collection of days.

It'd been four days in total, so he'd obviously spoken to Jenna but Jenna denied any knowing but sent Tyler texts which he'd reply too alone.

Josh was hurt but he pretended he wasn't.

He isn't dating them. They're dating each other he shouldn't be so concerned and involved. He let them have privacy but still held on hope that Tyler would return back to normal.

\----

(Back to Tylers POV)

I'm holding Josh's warm hand and slowly letting my eyes watch his pretty face as he snored quietly, dozing in and out of dreams as he licks his lips softly and occasionally.

His pink fluffy hair looking.. Pull able?

I felt bad immediately, Josh might run away after me and Jenna tell him and yet I'm sitting here thinking about ungodly things.

About how in the backroom of this very bus, he could get down on his bony knees and I could pull viciously or softly on his pink rough hair and his small, pink,wet mouth would open and wrap itself around my-

Josh's eyes widen as he looks down at me. Sleep filled and sluggish he smiles.

I almost think he could read my mind for a moment especially when his eyes dip down to my lips. But before I could even blink he stands up and then speaks.

'Come on Baby Boy, Let me feed you, let's go out'

I smiled but winced and hid behind my knee as it was bent upwards on the black sofa I was sitting on.

'Please Ty Ty'

I raised my head and smiled lovingly at him.

'Anything for you Joshie'

Mark walked loudly through the bus's black interiour.

'You and your boyfriend need to go eat otherwise Josh is gonna die, he hasn't eaten in a couple hours' says mark dramatically in a sarcastic tone.

Both me and Josh giggle but I bite down on my tongue to stop the longing of Josh actually being my boyfriend and the longing for my previous thoughts.

\---

'I'm gonna get ready to go Josh, my clothes are gross.'

I go to change and to cover up any evidence of my saucy thoughts.

'Let's go'

\----

We found a small restaurant to eat at and as we walk through the door I realise how many dates are going on.

It's quite romantic.

And that's when i choke up a little bit.

Anxiety racking me and nerves building up like fiery waves.

\---

We sit down but as we do the waiter giggles.

She mutters some words that make all those fiery waves crash and start burning at my arteries and organs. My body in living hell, mutilating itself and screaming at me.

'You're a cute couple'


	4. Swirling, Softly, Drifting Like The Cream In Your Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //Short Chapter//

I ran. 

Tears crashing down my cheeks loudly spitting on my skin. My bones trembling icily scraping against themselves as I rushed out of the vomit inducing restaurant. 

Why does everyone think we're dating ?

Why is my body screaming ?

Is everything okay?

Is this okay?

Am I allowed them both?

Jenna was probably joking.

Josh won't want me.

He'll want Jenna.

She'll leave me for him.

I just want them both.

Everyone's going to hate me.

"Tyler" 

Everyone's going to hate me.

Josh shouted repeatedly. Trying to catch my attention as a I ran up the dark street. 

I slowed and coughed. The phlegm in my throat from crying, getting caught and causing me to spit out most of my lungs. 

HATE.

"Tyler"

Josh squid-ed to a slow next to me. His pink hair a flourish of colour. 

HATE.

"What's wrong?"

His head bent down and his hands on my shoulders, we locked eyes. 

"I'm can't stop crying." 

THEY ALL THINK YOU'RE A SLUT.

I pulled his muscular body into a hug. Clenching tightly, holding onto him like the was nothing in the world that could make it better besides him. 

"I love you Josh"

I choked out, and I keep repeating it, coughing and crying and choked up.

"I love you Josh" 

Josh pulled me in further, 

"Hey buddy, I love you too, what's wrong" 

I just kept crying. 

HATE. HATE. HATE.

"I'm so stressed Josh, I love you so much" 

"Come on Ty let's get off the streets."

He held me under his arm never letting to much pressure falling on me and guiding me through the labyrinth of roads to the bus.

"Come on baby boy" 

He helped me up the stairs and sat me on the black sofa. 

"I'll be back soon okay, just wait here" 

So I sat with snot and tears running down my face and I put my messy head in my lap. Rubbing my scalp and pulling hair, I tried to run through the thoughts in my head however all that came out were salted screams that tugged at my brain and scraped my skull. 

A hushed voice tells anyone left on the bus to leave. 

That's when Josh comes back, He has a blanket, and some tissues. 

He takes my body like mannequin and wraps me in a blanket, folding it under my body and cozy-ing me into a soft ball of warmth. 

He knelt in front of me and held my shaking hands with his strong ones. 

"Tyler. Breathe. Okay?" 

My harsh breaths slowing as we both counted.

And once my lungs returned to their normal breathing pattern. 

"Okay baby boy what's wrong?" 

Josh removed one of his hands from my hand and started stroking my head and playing with my short hair. 

"My heads so loud Josh, I'm so scared" 

"Why's it loud Ty?"

"Because of this bad thing I want, I'm greedy"

"No Ty, you deserve the world, what do you want?" 

"I'm a slut." 

Josh looks confused and cocks his head to the side. 

"Should I call Jenna?" 

"I don't know" 

And I look at the ground again. 

Josh pulls out his phone and goes to the kitchen. 

He puts on the kettle and starts getting things out the cupboards and fridge. 

Five minutes later of me sat numbing myself out. 

He brings me hot chocolate with whipped cream. And as he hands it to me. The warm covers me and makes me feel a little better. He pulls out some sprinkles. 

"Just for you my baby boy." 

I take a gulp of the burning delicious liquid only to have Josh giggle at me. He wipes some cream of my nose and licks it. 

"How cliche dog breath" 

"Only in a love story...Ty"

Josh almost looks sad for a moment. 

I stare into his eyes, those hazelnut pools of beauty.

And he looks back into mine. 

How cliche.

We both lean in, the pressure and intimacy of the situation creating a build up that was going to crash any second now. 

My eyes flutter shut and my lips open slightly. I exhale in excitement. 

Our lips touch. Our breath mixing and entwining and as we lean in more. Josh's phone rings. 

We stop and look at each other for what felt like infinity.

"I'm so confused" 

But this time it is not me it is Josh. He leans back as he stands up and I jut my head out and follow his lips for a second before I realise the moments gone. 

Oh Geeze Josh must be so confused.

He walks to the kitchen and answers his phone. 

\---

The phone call 

JD: JOSH DUN

JJ: JENNA JOSEPH

\---

JD: Hey Jen

JJ: Hey J,are you okay? Is Ty okay? You said it was urgent I call you, what's wrong? 

JD: So Ty is a bit of a mess

JJ: Is it the thing he's been off about all week? 

JD: neither of you have told me so I don't know but he said he was a slut. Which really threw me off, I don't know he said that he wants things and that he is greedy? Do you know what this is about? 

JJ: Yea I know, is there anything else that's happened? 

JD: Well Jen I don't want to upset you but I... We.. I...He.. No it was both of us... urmmm..well it was probably just all the chemicals going on his head, it was really intense but...

JJ: OH MY GOD did you guys kiss? Did you, thats so cute ? 

JD: No.. I mean, what? That is not what I was expecting, I'm even more confused now.

JJ: Did you? 

JD: No we nearly did but you called and we stopped. 

JJ: oh sorry (giggling) 

JD: What's going on Jen? 

JJ: I know I'm not supposed to come up for a couple days but I think I'm going to join tour early okay? 

JD: of course but Jen what's happening ? 

JJ: Me and Ty will explain tomorrow, just watch some TV with Ty and calm him down, Tell him we will explain early because of what happened. 

JD: Okay Jen but I'm trusting you. 

JJ: Good boy, I love you J don't forget that okay, tell Ty too, I'll see you tomorrow hun.

JD: Okay, I love you too, See ya. 

\---

Josh walks slowly back into the room, he breathes in and twitches his mouth to the side. Wondering what to do. He walks to the TV and pulls out too Wii remotes and reboots the console. 

He holds my remote looking down at it. 

"Jen says she's coming to join tour early tomorrow and that you're going to explain to me tomorrow what's going on because of what's happened, she says she loves you and will see you tomorrow"

He hands me the remote, leans down and kisses my cheek. 

I make a bold move and I turn my head and press a kiss to his lips. 

I then lift my hand and hold his cheek.

" I love you Josh." 

" I love you too Ty"

\---

Columbia MD, 10th June, Merriweather Post Pavilio

I open my eyes to see Jenna sitting in front of me.

 

Smiling sweetly.

Swirling softly  
Drifting like the cream in your coffee


	5. The Back Of My Eyelids Are The Same Colour As His Hair

Columbia MD, 10th June, Merriweather Post Pavillo

I open my tired eyes and see her sitting there. Smiling softly, her eyes like mocha; warm and welcoming and her blond hair cascading around her shoulders. Her pink tinted cheeks darkening as she stares back at me, Her blue eyes boring into my eyes, making me feel like I am home.

My breath leaves my body as I lean forward, my black hoodie pooling around my skinny body and the blanket Mark must of laid over us falling forward. Quickly remembering Josh and feeling guilty when I hear he's arm smack the black interior of the bus's couch, I hesitate on moving further forward.

But then Jenna's here so it's okay. Clear tears melt their way down my face, down my stubbly chin as I kiss Jenna fiercely.

She cutely smiles into the kiss, her pink lips stretching over her pearly whites and she giggles affectionately.

She holds my damp cheeks.

'My baby boy, you're a mess. Come here'

She wipes the tears from round my puffy red eyes and kisses my forehead.

'Let's get some coffee at this pit stop and calm you down.'

I looked down feeling bad about leaving Josh. But realised his tight eyes and purple circles meant he clearly had not had enough sleep last night, probably too confused too sleep.

I exhale silently and look at Jenna, then letting out a fresh burst of tears.

'Tyler' Jenna exclaims almost giggling,

'Come on dear, stop crying, it's okay.'

We walk slowly and swiftly towards the doors of the bus.

Jenna's soft hands pulling my rough ones towards freedom.

Stepping of the bus felt like I could breath, I know longer felt constricted and tied down.

'I'm sorry'

The first words I mutter to my wife after not seeing her for a month.

'I'm so sorry, I'm a complete mess' I giggle

She scoffs 'Tyler you're always a mess, it's why I love you'

'I love you too'

'But we also love Josh'

'Yea Josh.'

She pulls, me into a tight hug and whispers gently into my ear

'We can tell him now, yeah?'

I pull out the hug nodding slowly and then more excitedly.

\---

Walking back onto the bus

I stumbled slowly, tripping on my own feet as Jenna slowly pulled me.

As we walk into the backroom I see Josh's pink hair bobbing slowly as he starts to wake up, his cotton candy hair cutley nodding up and down.

'Wake up Dog Breath'

Josh small eyes squint open as he wakes up. The sleepiness in his eyes showing the lack of sleep he's had. His head raises suddenly as he recognises Jenna, he jumps up surprised and tackles her against the opposite couch, he buried his head in Jenna's neck as she giggles giddy.

He mumbles ' I thought you wouldn't get here till tonight or at least late afternoon'

'its like 2 Josh' Jenna squeals as she wraps her legs around his hips cuddling Josh closer, while this happened I stood there smiling.

If this isn't a clue that I'm Poly well then what is.

I think this is when it clicked in Josh's head.

He paused, turning his head and looking at me before dropping his eyes to the ground. Jenna realising his uncomfortableness dropped her legs from him and let him stand up.

I coughed and whispered ' I think this is what Jenna came talk about,right?'

Josh nodded and walked to the door

' Let me change and stuff, this is pretty important and i'm in my pajamas'

I locked my jaw impatiently, almost annoyed at Josh wanted to wait for this conversation.

'Let him get comfortable, this is scary Ty'

'I know, sorry' I nodded closing my eyes.

\---

A couple minute later Josh wandered back into the back-room wearing his 'I believe' shirt.

He took a breath in and sat down next to Jenna on one sofa as I sat opposite them on the other.

' Josh' my voice cracks and both of two humans opposite me frown upset, that I myself was upset.

'Do you like this?' As I gestured to the 3 of us.

He hesitated 'Yeah you're my closest friends'

No one spoke for a minute, all of us knowing that is not what I had meant.

'Yeah I like it, both of you, like that' Josh coughed out, and instantly he choked up and his eyes watered and his head fell deep into his calloused hands.

Jenna wrapped her arms around the broad man.

'Don't get upset Josh'

'We like it too, so if it's bad then I guess we're all bad' I muttered

Jenna looked up at me blankly at first then gave me a small glare.

Clearly I wasn't the only one who had struggled with the issues of this, Josh had been tearing himself apart too.

I got up and walked to Josh kneeling down infront of him. I pulled his hands from his face and held his cheeks in my hands.

'Josh' I got out then frowned and instead of saying anything I simply kissed his cheekbones above my hands, his forehead, and then...

I licked my lips and leant my head to the side, breathed in and settled my lips on top of his. He kissed back instantly and that's when my head stopped spinning and everything felt okay.

When I pulled back all three of us sat there blushing like freaking idiots.

I then leant to Jenna and pecked her on her soft pink lips as well.

Because Of this Jenna nudged Josh hoping for another kiss, Josh nodded smalley and leant forward giving a chaste kiss.

'How about we go have a picnic and discuss this a little bit more?'

They both nodded, both smiling.

\---

I sat on a large checked blanket in the middle of Colombia's Elkhorn park, Across from me Jenna sat with Josh in her lap, we had all eaten a couple of small triangular sandwiches but now we were listening to some music, Grime specifically I had put it on and specifically tweeted about one song in particular that I loved, I think showing appreciation of other artists because I am an artist helps the fans discover new music and an artist's career can also be helped massively and just them as people appreciating that 'Someone like me' bothered to do it.

I sat cross legged with daisies gathered around me that I'd picked. I had made some very crappy broken crowns and because both Josh and Jenna had their eyes closed, sunbathing. I managed to place both the crowns or at least chains softly onto their heads without them noticing.

I took out my phone from my black denim trousers and opened the camera quickly snapping a photo of it, because of the soft noise the phone made, both Jenna and Josh opened their eyes.

I giggled softly at them loving how obliviant they were to my crowns.

Jenna raised her eyebrow, 'If you think I didn't notice you putting the flowers on my head you are sorely mistaken Tyler Joseph'

I glanced at the ground embarrassed because of Jenna's little telling off but I quickly heard jenna and josh giggling to themselves which made me frown.

'I know we're all like dating now but it doesn't mean you can bully me'

I said this without thinking. I think we all stopped and realised this.

'I guess we should actually discuss this then instead of kissing and ignoring it.' Jenna mumbled.

Both me and Josh hummed in agreement.

'Okay so we all like each other right, I know we kissed and all but just to clarify, yeah?'

Again both me and Josh hummed in agreement.

'So do we all want to date, see how it works and then I guess if it works tell the fans or at least some people after a while?'

'Yeah... not to be like "this is all i'm thinking about" but it's crossed my mind'

Josh said quietly, both me and Jenna looked at him expectantly, and he blushed bright red.

'What about like sex and stuff, well not just sex but intimacy stuff'

We all giggled at this especially me and Josh while Jenna giggled but ended up glaring at us and our immaturity.

"Well I mean it's not like us as a friendship is new so I sort of felt like as a relationship we'd act more intimate but nothing much would change, especially between you guys. But for intimacy stuff I feel like we take it as it comes because yeah it's not like this is anything new and we're all comfortable with each other.

As for how we go about it, I mean we are all allowed to do whatever with each other right, is there any jealousy? We can do just two of us or all together.' Jenna coughed and laughed embarrassed to be talking so openly about having a three-way.

And that's when I started blushing because the idea of us having a three-way popped into my head. As crude as it was the image of Josh between my Legs and Jenna Above me got me a little flustered. Both Josh and Jenna had apparently noticed my flustered face.

'Tyler, you alright?' Josh smirked asking me, knowing what I was thinking about. And then when I looked at Jenna she was biting her lip also knowing.

''Take it as it comes, right?' Josh said emphasising 'Comes'

I gulped as he moved towards me and knelt, winking. It was more of a nervous squint than a seductive wink though, I could tell Josh was nervous about it.

He kissed me. The bright sunlight through my eyelids was the same pink as Josh's hair. I could taste salty butter from the sandwiches on Josh's tongue, his soft pink lips moving against mine.

I moved my hands to his hips as I gripped them slightly aggressively and pulled him closer however because he was kneeling and i was sat crossed legged he fell forwards pushing me back.

At this point in the distance I heard a phone ring and a shuffle besides me.

"I'll be back in a second huns. Don't have too much fun, we're in public.'

Even in the closed off area we were picnicking in, anyone could walk by.

I pulled away from Josh as she walked away, and whispered 'okay' breathlessly as I stared into Josh's chocolaty eyes.

I cleared my throat and bit my lip making josh lean his head forward trying to drag me into another kiss however before his lips touched mine I asked him to just let me uncross my legs.

Being in my 20's I wasn't as flexible as I was as a child therefore lying down with my legs half crossed with a heavy man practically leaning on me, i wasn't that comfortable.

After i'd uncrossed my legs I pulled Josh into a kiss and he slowly pushed me back into lying down on the blanket instead of leaning on my arms. As he pushed me down he started kissing and nibbling softly at my neck which caused me to release a low groan and breathless moans..

'Guys we're in public, stop putting on porn show'

Jenna's voice broke through the air.

Me and josh broke apart and we both looked at Jenna guiltily but giggled anyway. Josh collapsed next to me and then Jenna came and lay on my opposite side. After a couple of moment in silence. Well silence and both mine and Josh's heavy breaths.

'I want a kiss' Jenna said biting her pink lips. I glanced at Josh and nodded.

Josh leant upon his muscley arms and leaned over me and just above Jenna who's head was resting on my Chest.

His lips met hers and a peaceful feeling fell over my body.

Blurryface left.


	6. Lazy Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //Just a cute little piece, this is about how far I could go at the moment but if anyone wants a more smutty bit I can do one and i'd try and do it well but if anyone would write one for me, I'll credit you,I feel a little uncomfortable doing it myself? //

11th of June - Portsmouth, VA, 11/12th June, Portsmouth Pavilion

11th of June.

A Day Off.

Today we have a day off so we decided to have a Pajama day and celebrate our new found relationship while everyone was off being tourists, happy to get off the bus for a day.

Today we were in a Hotel room, me and Jenna in a room and Josh sharing with Mark however at this point in time i had Jenna next to me and Josh was curled up across both our laps. I think Josh had fallen asleep.

Careful not to wake him I lent further to Jenna and pressed a kiss to her shoulder feeling deprived of attention, I did this until i got her attention and pulled her into a real kiss.

'I think this new relationship has got you hot and bothered, you're very horny.' Jenna giggled.

I didn't reply I just lent down and kissed her possessively. I completely forgot Josh being on my lap and shifted to get closer to Jenna whilst also squeezing Josh hip on accident.

In Josh's tired head I think he forgot to be nervous and he tiredly opened his eyes. They grew wide as he realised Jenna was staring at him while i kept wanting Jenna's attention. She realised how in control she was of us and how badly i liked her possessiveness. She turned her head and kissed me. Her lips pushing against mine, and she pulled Josh closer to us. Her hand wrapped into the cloth of his shirt nudging him towards us.

When i opened my eyes again he was kneeling in front of us as Jenna sat cross legged and i sat on my knees. Both of leaning inwards to her as her aura pulled us in. She was so beautiful sat there. She wore her blond hair in a bun with her bangs floating above her forehead. Smudged mascara around her eyes from crying at the film we were watching.

Josh's eyes followed us as me and Jenna lent apart, Jenna took her small fragile hand and took Josh by the cheek pushing him towards her and kissing him roughly. I think Josh liked the possessiveness too. Me and Jenna had never really done much of anything exciting in bed, we were pretty vanilla but since everything with josh apparently I had become more interested with sex and apparently so had Jenna and maybe Josh. Me and Josh never really discussed anything too much sexual.

Obviously we joked around and said a couple things if anything exciting happened, i guess. However no. We never really went into detail over either of our sexual fantasies or experiences, I'm guessing that'll change now. I'm presuming he was also pretty Vanilla but I guess not now, seen as hows things are going at this point in time.

As they kissed i watched both their lips move over each other and the need to touch became impossibly more intense. So as Josh knelt almost over Jenna I pulled at Jenna's shirt trying to get her to either remove it or say that she wasn't comfortable to go further or at least for anyone to put up boundaries or etc.

Jenna pulled out the kiss her hand still on Josh's cheek. She pecked his wet lips then looked at me giving me almost a 'school teacher' glare slapping my hand away gently. I thought this meant she wasn't comfortable with going further so i slid down into the bed and lay down. However to my surprise she also gave this look to Josh silently telling him to sit back down.

Josh sat further to me almost offended by Jenna's gaze. Josh put his hand down on the top of my thigh, right next to my - You get my drift.

Jenna sat up straight, redid her hair while me and Josh watched her. I felt Josh's hand tighten around my thigh as Jenna shirt rode up as she tied her hair. Jenna then looked at us, raised her eyebrow and pulled of her shirt. Underneath lay a bralette. Because we were having lazy day she hadn't bothered with an actual bra and instead had a mesh bralette on, which was rather revealing.

'Well'

Both me and Josh gulped at the sudden change of events.

\---

'Take it as it comes'

We all had enjoyed the lazy afternoon, we hadn't actually had sex but we'd had some fun but now it was about 9pm.

A knock landed on the door and I got out the bed leaving Jenna and Josh cuddled up on the bed.

Mark entered the room when i opened it.

'You're all really weird, but I love you all so whatever's going on explain it to me at some point okay? But me and the crew are going out and probably getting really drunk and i'm guessing you guys don't wanna come out but i thought i'd come to tell you.'

Both Jenna and Josh nodded then started watching the film again. I exchanged a few words with Mark and i thought i wouldn't i hear from again but low and behold a couple hours later when we were deciding who got to be in the middle of our spoon. He called.

' Guys I love you' Mark slurred through the phone then hung up on us.

We all laughed and continued who would get to go in the middle.

'But you guys are bigger than me so I want to go in the middle and be cozy' Jenna said.

'But we don't want to crush you jen'

'No you just want to go in the middle' I smiled at her comment.

'But I just want cuddles' Josh commented tiredly.

At that both me and Jenna nodded at each other and got into bed on either side of Josh. We both kissed him and i said 'That was just too cute Josh.'


	7. Jenna's Fruity Shampoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //So I know Josh doesn't have a place in Portsmouth, he has one in LA which Tyler refers to in the 'Behind The Video' video but Portsmouth and LA are nowhere near each other and I wanted them to record the video at this point in time because the was nothing to write about in the next couple of days in the story. Sorry bout that. //

Portsmouth VA, 12th June, Portsmouth Pavilion

 

Today we are preparing our newer track Heathens. I've put a lot into this song and it's been ready for ages however we are set to drop the video soon and still need to record a video so this morning and tomorrow we are recording it. 

Half of the video is pre-recorded scenes from a movie so therefore the wasn't really much to ever record but with how busy I've been stressing out, I've pushed it too far back and now Mark scared it won't be ready in time so I promised that we'd do it today.

I am so anxious about the video, in all my worrying about the poly situation I had forgotten about to think and practise how I'd do the video. 

 

I'm an artist yes but music videos are a whole new level, I know I've done them before but having a camera in your face and knowing you need to get it right other wise everyone will get annoyed is a big pressure.

\-- I wake up to soft cotton sheets bounded around my body. Tying me into a burrito of Josh and Jenna. Josh lays between me and Jenna. His soft pink pastel hair sticking out right because of his bed-head, He looked positively adorable. His arms were tightly laced around my wifes arms but his head lay softly pushed back onto me. Little snores escaped his pale skin. His stubbly through erupting with cute breathy noises. And Jenna; her blonde hair layered cascading round her head and pillow. I don't think josh was quite used to her long hair so as it fell onto his face he had begun to wake up slightly but fell back into a shallow sleep where he kept moving his small face periodically to stop Jennas hair irritating his skin. Jenna's long eyelashes flickered open, her blue eyes staring at me like iridescent crystals. Her small freckles glinting in the morning light. She bites her red lips and smiles at me. "Morning Ty" I smiled back giggling at how cute she was. "You've got a busy day today, you better get up" "You don't want to come with us?" "I'm sleepy" she says in a small child-like voice and pulled up the duvet to hide her face behind it. "Can you wake up Josh, I hate doing it." I frowned asking Jen" "But I hate it too, he's just too cute" She whispers and boops his nose, but then pushes down on ot a little harder causing Josh too squint and open his eyes a little bit. "Josh you gotta get up and be a big boy n' do stuff" Josh looked at Jen and pouted his adorable features suddenly becoming heart-breaking. He shakes his head and turns his back to Jenna. Pulling me into a cuddle and nestling his face into my neck. "Come on Josh we gotta go" I whispered in his ear. He again shakes his head and says a small "No" His lips moving against my neck making me giggle. This causes him to start biting and kissing my neck, More to tickle me than to turn me on. Suddenly we're on the floor and as we look up, Jenna looks down guiltily giggling and announces "I'm going to sleep, go get ready otherwise Mark will come and tell you off." Me and Josh both stumble off the floor and stand up pulling faces at Jenna childishly. I pivot to face Josh and Smile at him squinting my eyes. I'm so Happy. 

"Race you to the toilet, whoever get's there first gets to shower."

Josh won. And as I sat moodily outside the bathroom, feeling unwanted by both Josh and Jenna, I noticed the bathroom door open. By this time the presumably hot water ran fast and Josh was either in the shower or about to get in. I took my chances and opened the vintage wooden door. There Josh stood, The steam in the room suddenly felt more like smoke as i became nervous and dizzy. Josh's silhouette stood against the glass. The water droplets clouding my view. But a flourish of pink hair and pale skin blotted the glass and I suddenly realised how hot the room was. "I was hoping you'd come in" Josh says nervously, His small voice travelling across the tied room, echoing and manifesting itself into my ears. "Do you still want me to come in" I whisper back nervously. My smaller, softer voice seemingly travelling the same distance. O r I thought but Josh didn't reply for several seconds. I nervously thought about just leaving the room. But Josh's face suddenly became clearer as his face had popped round from behind the patterned glass. 

His wet hair piled on his head and his eyebrow raised.

"Come on in Tyler Joseph, welcome to my humble abode" he said dorkily and I found myself near fainting when he said it. He was just too cute. 

\--

We didn't have sex honestly we didn't want too even though it was a little bit cheeky it was quite innocent, we helped wash each other hair with Jenna's nice fruity shampoo. 

\--

The is a loud knocking at the door and Michael appears, 

"You guys ready? I'm taking you"

 

"Me and Josh are both ready but I turn to him "I'm gonna get coffee, you go without me I'll be there soon after, You need more time for all the sick tattoos"

"Okay I'll see you in a bit" 

Josh then looked at Michael, then back at me and raised an eyebrow and squinted wondering if we were

supposed to kiss goodbye or something coupley. I wasn't sure. Less than 15 minutes ago we had been in the shower together but now we weren't even sure whether to kiss goodbye. 

"Guys come on" Michael said impatiently. Josh nodded and I nodded back not sure what to do.

\-- As i went down to the Lobby to get my uber, to get the coffee and go to the shoot. I heard someone shout for me. 

"Tyler!"

It was Mark as he court up to me and court his breath. 

"I'll come with you, we can record some of the 'behind the Video'"

 

\---

 

'I couldn't really sleep a lot last night, cos I'm very.. Kinda anxious, but I'm excited.' I say into the camera.

 

\---

 

'Why are you too showing up separately today' Mark asks pointing the camera at me.

'

Josh and I?' I chuckle silently in the car.

'Yeah' 

The coffee excuse wasn't any fun so I said the first thing to come to mind.

 

'Urm- Well Josh has a place near here and I don't have a place here

 

And I talked to him and I was like "Hey, you have a place here

 

I have to stay somewhere near here, Where should I stay?'

 

And i was totally expecting him to invite me over to his place.

 

But he was like 'There's some really nice hotels'

 

So now we're. we're arriving to the music video separately and I'm gonna try really hard to pretend,

 

I wasn't bothered by that.

 

All day long"

It was silly but it made me and Mark giggle. 

The first soon we are shooting was of Josh playing his drums. I'd decided to make him look like my guardian angel by adding various more tattoos including an old rune that meant 'Angelic Power' I felt this added more meaning and story behind the video instead of just some scenes of us playing.

 

Josh beat down on the colossal drums, the wood in his sticks splintering from pressure. His butt bouncing up and down on his spring seat. His enjoyment of playing unknowingly lighting up his face as he swung and hit down on the material. His child-like eyes and lopsided smile warming my insides.

The next scene we are filming is of us playing while some prison mates watch us. And I had to go to wardrobe to change.

 

As I walked to the brightly lit area, Josh joined me. "You enjoying yourself Ty-Guy?" 

"Yep, I'm excited for the suit, Jenna said it looked pretty sick yesterday"

 

"You get to dress all fancy and I don't" pouted Josh.

I turned to him and held his cheeks in my hands, smushing his face together slightly. "Oh-No" I said in a mocking voice, this simply made him pout more. 

We continued to walk into the dressing area of the set. And I was given a suit in a bag and told to change.

Josh didn't have to change much so followed me down a hall to got to the toilet to change. 

\---

 

I hung up the suit and undid the zip.

"Wow dude, it's yellow!"

 

Josh just let air out his mouth and raised his eyebrows at me before then responding. "You're gonna look hot as hell"

 

I started undoing my belt while Josh lent against the cubicle wall. His eyes followed my every move. He stepped forward and helped pull up the white shirt I had on under the orange jump-suit. His eyes met mine as he pulled it over my head, he lent his head nearer and nearer, biting his lip. Then he kissed me. After a couple minutes of mindless making out. Me standing there in my boxers are sharp knock on the door pulled us out of our trance. Mark called from the other side "Come on Ty"

 

Hearing Ty call back, Mark retreated back from the toilet and me and Josh started to giggle. Josh's forehead was lent on mine and I whispered.

 

"God damn it I have a boner now" We both bust out in giggles knowing we should hurry up.

 

\---

 

Josh cocks his head to the side and says "I hope that everything will be alright, because honestly I've never been happier, I feel completely at home, maybe no one will really understand it but having you two in my life feeling like I'm apart of this and that you guys actually like me. That I'm emotionally and well physically in this relationship. It makes me beyond happy.

 

You make me so beyond happy and I hope I do that to you too. I feel like this was just meant to be. I don't care that this may not be how most Christians would go about their love life but I think what we have is beautiful and that. Love is Love, no matter what."

 

"I know, this is perfect and no one can stop it being that." I replied seriously.

 

\---- 

After a long day of filming all the scenes, me and Josh decided to get to his place.

We called Jenna to come but she said that she would meet us tomorrow in Boston for our day off. This meant me and Josh had an hour before we had to head to the venue for sound check. We decided to order some pizza and save half of it for the bus later tonight. We ordered are meal and sat on the lime sofa. 

"Should I sell this place and get one closer to you guys. Cos this is a couple hours from Ohio and I don't really want to be that from you guys"

 

"I'm not sure, I guess we should talk about nearer the end of tour."

 

"Yeah future us can deal with it"

 

My legs were sprawled over Josh's and his hand lay massaging my calf. It was very relaxing and I wanted to fall asleep but I knew I shouldn't. 

"Josh I wanna-"

 

"No, Jenna said not let you nap"

 

"Owh" I replied smiling because Jenna knew I'd want to nap. 

\---

This time during the show the aching jolt did not make me feel like I was waking up. It just hurt. I don't think I'm dreaming anymore. I feel more awake than ever. At least for now.

Me and Josh fell asleep on the bus sofa again. Blankets cocooning us in a land of dreams. Red-bull and pizza littering the table in front of us and Home Alone's credits paused on the TV screen diagonal to us.


	8. "Baby Boy what's wrong?”

Boston, MA, 14th Of June, Agganis Arena

A couple of days had passed as me and Josh continuing to tour, and it was completely lovely, but all good things must come to an end mustn't they. 

Everything good always has to stop and I can never be happy. The wretched sadness that had been at rest sitting in my stomach had begun to climb and scratch its way up my throat again. Its poison clenching around my esophagus. 

I sat in my bunk, the hard wooden barrier around the long rectangular sides stuck into my leg, digging deeper every time the bus lurched forwards and flung my body slightly more forward. 

My glassy eyes stung and watered staring down onto the carpeted floor. The floor a light grey, the carpet stopped us from getting cold feet every morning when we pulled ourselves out of bed. 

It stopped my feet getting cold throughout the summer and winter at 4am when I’d eventually stop pretending that If i closed my eyes a little longer, that i would fall asleep. When at 4am i’d climb out of the hole in the wall and stumble to one of the rooms in the bus. 

I’d sit on a dark chair in the corner of the room and I would write songs. The antidote to the poison in my throat. I would cough up lyrics and thoughts and combine them into some sort of rhythm. 

I used to play my ukulele softly trying to interpret the meanings of my words to some sort of infusion of rhythm and meaning. 

But eventually I would get too emotional, I’d play my ukulele too hard and I would sing to loud and sometimes scream. Ripping my throats body up and leaving a sickening sensation. I’d cry until what was an antidote to the sadness, burnt my throat too. 

I stopped playing the ukulele in the mornings then, I hated when I’d accidentally wake up the whole crew especially Josh or Jenna. 

Josh would come into the room on those mornings, usually after 6am, him being able to have a full night sleep and me luckily not destroying his sleep schedule. However my eyes would be red and i'd have blue bags draining my face of happiness right under my blotchy eyes. It was a sickness. 

It had gone away for a while. But the release date of our new song ‘Heathens’ was coming up, the stress was eating away my stomach and pushing bile up my throat until the early mornings. 

I’d sit and cry with my notebook in front of me frantically trying to come up with new material for a new album everyone kept asking about. 

\- 

So i pull myself out of the bunk that my lanky legs dangle over and check my glowing phone for the time. 

11:59pm on the 14th of June 

I walked towards the door that held all my minds vomit. The ridiculous amount of stacked notebooks filled with scribbles of songs. 

I sat down on the small wooden chair and checked my phone again. 

12am on the 15th of June 

My head spinned and turned and twisted. Bile making its way up into my mouth. 

I stood up stumbling through the doorway into the bathroom. Dropping to my bony knees and hunching over the small white basin. 

It didn’t stay white for long. 

I fell to the floor. Tears leaking from my small eyes. Rolling slowly down my red cheeks. My back lay against the wall and i curled into myself. 

Josh was suddenly in front of me his warm arms enveloping me and my heart stopping. 

“Baby Boy what's wrong?” asked Josh sincerely. 

I hiccuped violently, my whole body jerking forwards as i lurched out the words “I don’t know how long I can last. This song. 

The is so much more pressure now.” 

Josh pulled me closer and kissed my head softly. 

“Tyler we can work this out, It’s okay, people are gonna love it 

Ty I can talk to the record company and see if instead of it being released as a single, it could be released with the album, you can have more time to go over it and we can take this slower-” 

“Take it slow” I heard myself echo. 

Before I threw my head into the crook of his neck and cried harder. 

“No I just want it out there, I’d rather it out now than in another couple of weeks Josh. I don’t think I can hold on longer.” 

Josh pulled away from me and looked into my glimmering eyes. 

“Let’s leak it”. 

 

\-- 

I cryptically tweeted ‘Take It Slow’ in morse code. 

And within an hour the song had been released illegally. 

\--   
Uncasville, CT, 15th-17th of June, Mohegan Sun Arena

15th of June

We had both decided it would be best for us to turn our phones off and go somewhere where no one would recognise us. 

“Hey you won’t be able to contact us all day and we are going to a different hotel to the rest of the crew, we don’t want any questions right now, we kinda did something and you’ll figure it out in a bit. I’ll text you the hotel number so if you need us in an emergency you can get us but otherwise please don’t” 

I said leaving Mark a voice message and then texting him the number. 

I turned to Josh and pressed the button of my phone down turning it off, his actions mirroring my own. We’d of course told Jenna as well and mentioned about her coming and joining us later on. 

Today just felt like we needed to block out everyone. I mean tomorrow everyone would be super angry because I’m sure the record company isn’t very pleased but no one can track it to me so it should be okay. Even though legally they can't say it's me, I know a lot of people will know I did it especially after everything with Blurryface. i'm not very good and keeping things in, i guess I get too scared and just throw it out into the world instead of constantly wondering if people will like it. 

\-- 

We first decide that for our day of peace, we’d go shopping and pick up some food for today. As we walked into the local shop the dinging of the bell rang clear and loud as Josh pushed open the door for me. 

“Ladies first” He sarcastically said down to me peering through he’s purple sunglasses patronisingly. 

I sternly looked back up at him. “The point of today is that I don’t have to deal with people's dip crap which means I don’t have to deal with yours either.” I turned on my heel running slightly into the store leaving Josh behind me with a ghost of a smile on his cheeky face. 

Josh muttered “Oh, It’s on” right before I got too far away from him. 

I heard the slip of the rubber souls of his feet before hiding in the confectionery isle to the side and then back tracking towards the front of the store via another isle. I heard Josh’s soft hum of 'Jump around’ on the isle next to me. Perfectly opposite me, so I could see through the shelves at Josh’s pink hair bobbing up and down as he muttered “jump around” to himself repeatedly. 

This way I could see his face as he presumed I’d run further into the store. I sniggered slightly at his ignorance before I heard him start to pick up the juice on the shelves of his isle. 

He set one bottle of orange juice in his cart before looking up and seeing my shocked face on the other side of the isle. 

Quickly I again turned on my heel and walked away softly trying not to give away the direction I was going in. 

As I turned round the isle into where the cereal was held. Josh’s face suddenly appeared in front of mine. 

“Haha Baby Boy, I caught you.” I pouted childishly. 

We shopped further trying to not spend too much money but also treating ourselves. 

We ended up picking up loads of junk food and sweets and I made Josh give me all his change so that I could spend it on the little vending machine filled with small toys and stickers. 

By the end I had loads of small carebear charms that I’d given to the mother of a small girl that was sitting on a bench outside of the store. Passing them to her giggling “Sorry I got a little carried away, Would your daughter like these” 

The woman looked a little shocked and wide eyed, I’m not sure if she recognised me or whether it was just an odd thing to do. 

\-- 

When we got back to the hotel room me and Josh collapsed onto the silky soft bed with our two plastic bags full of goodies. 

We lay there, closing our eyes for a moment, until we both turned our heads to each other and smiled giddily. 

“Come on, let’s get comfy” Josh said sweetly. 

We both sat up and put on our Pyjamas. Mine were just a dark black plain pair of trousers with a dark blue cotton shirt which had a small pocket on it for decoration. 

Although the pocket didn’t open so it seemed a bit pointless being there. Why would you put something made for holding things on a shirt if you were only going to sew it up and stop it from fulfilling its purpose. 

It perplexed me. 

Why was it there?   
Why is anyone here? 

I tried pulling myself out from my out worldly thoughts and tried to concentrate on Josh pulling his tie-dye 'DAD' shirt over his muscular chest. 

He got a little tangled but after a few seconds his head poked through the top of the colourful material and his head flopped to the side slightly sending me a dorky smile. 

He walked to me and pulled me in close. I breathed him and the fruity residue of Jenna's shampoo laced his hair. Peaches. He smelt just like Jenna but just like him as well. It was absolutely perfect. 

Josh then pulled me to the bed and pushed me down so I sat cross legged at the top of the bed. He then grabbed the duvet and wrapped me in it. And then sat next to me wrapping himself and the blanket around us. He proceeded to pull out a bag of sweet popcorn besides the fact that it was 11:30 and turn on the TV. 

He flickered through the channels waiting for me to hum in approval but nothing was really interesting so I just looked at him, munching on the sweet popcorn he turned to me and started chewing slower with a small alarmed look splaying across his face. 

“What?” He attempted to say but It came out all mumbled because of how much popcorn was in his mouth. 

“Nothing J, I think I’m just tired could we perhaps take a nap? I don't think either of us had a massively good sleep last night.” I whisper to him pushing my forehead against his. 

We'd crept out the bus as soon as it had parked around 7:30. We had left Mark the message and then left everyone asleep on the bus. People usually woke up around 9 or 10 and then would migrate to the hotel or find somewhere to eat. This meant because Mark wasn't the most organised he'd have to go charge his phone to receive my message but the driver would let everyone know we were safe because he'd obviously been awake from driving so had seen us leave. 

Josh's mouth was now finally clear of popcorn, he nodded closing his small eyes. 

“Of course Ty” He said still nodding. 

\---   
The loud knock on the door of the hotel woke both of us up. 

“Hello, sorry to interrupt but the is a call for you” A woman's voice echoed through the thick wooden door. 

I groaned looking at Josh who’s tired eyes were now also wide open from the shock of the sudden banging. 

I shifted moving my heavy feet to the floor, the warmness leaving my body as I knew the call was from someone who would be very angry at me because everyone on the crew would know it was us who leaked it. Specifically me who leaked it. 

I opened the door and a small plump woman in smart uniform stood, back turned to the door speaking into the phone. 

“Yes I’m just at their door now one moment Sir… 

I know but they aren’t answering the door at the moment Sir…” 

I coughed slightly to alert her that I’d opened the door. 

“Ah yes. Hello sir, there seems to be someone on the phone for you, He said he’s name was Mark and that you’d specifically left this number for him to call.” 

“Yes sorry for the inconvenience” 

“Oh don’t worry dear, Bring the phone back down to reception or call reception and someone shall collect it when you want” 

“Thank you” 

As she wandered down the corridor, I stared silently at the phone, Knowing my own doom that I'd lead myself too. 

I breathed in heavily and then lifted the grey phone to my ear. 

“Hello Mark”


	9. Birthday Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Josh and Tyler having a day of peace. The first show playing Heathens live. Josh's Birthday

“Tyler, what the fuck.”  
“Look I know I shouldn’t of done it but I felt so bad and I was so stressed out that I just needed people to hear it already.” I stumble out, ready to be shouted at. 

“Tyler I don’t care about the damn song. I need to make sure you’re okay. With your track record of keeping us awake from crying because of how hurt you are, you can’t just run off.”

“I’m sorry, I left you a message and Jenna knows, I thought it’d be fine” I say in a small apologetic voice. 

“Tyler you sounded like you were about to burst into tears on that message, did you really think i’d just leave you guys to be alone all day. I know Josh can handle you but It doesn’t mean i don’t get worried Ty. Jesus you gave me a heart attack. Jenna’s across the country so she’s asleep and hasn’t replied to me or probably even read your message.”

“I’m sorry Mark”

He sighs knowing that I honestly am and that sometimes me and Josh just don’t think things through. 

“Pass the phone to Josh. I can tell you're still sleepy and i've unnerved you because you thought i’d be angry.”

“You are angry, just for something else”

He takes a deep breath in. “Pass the phone over”

My downcast eyes look up to see Josh sitting on the edge of the bed, I take several small steps and push out my hand to him. He holds my stare for a couple seconds sensing i'm upset. He pulls me down to the floor so I can lean on him while he talks to Mark. 

-

Eventually Josh ends up hanging up the phone as his and Mark's conversation comes to a close.

“Are we in trouble?” I ask my small voice seemingly travelling viciously across the open room. 

“No of course not Ty guy” and then after a beat he continues “Come on, we need to head back” Josh’s head falls down in defeat as he realises that he couldn’t give me a day of peace which is in all honesty what I really needed. But alas I can’t always have what I want. So I take Josh’s small dissapointed body and pull him into a hug. 

“It’s okay buddy, let’s get this show on the road.”  
\----  
Uncasville, CT, 17th June, Mohegan Sun Arena

The past two days had been all off. 

First walking stranded and unhealthy in a wasteland of my own mind, my thoughts a barrier to happiness.  
Destroying my contract by revolutionary spreading my song like a vicious disease by a simple click of a few black buttons.   
Spending the morning with Josh in a wonderland where his pastel hair colour was normal and I was happy.   
Being shouted at slightly by Mark, his worrying voice fuelling me with dark anxiety.   
The crew’s eyes beadily watching us, forcing us still and making sure we weren’t running off again. Apparently Mark had put us both under “venue arrest”.  
Fuelled by Ramen repeatedly throwing and shouting fits in our direction as ‘The Suicide Squad’ Film production threatened to sue and file us away under the label of ‘criminals’   
Officially releasing the illegal song that so many ears had already heard. The clique feeling happy for more than 10 minutes.  
Their insatiable hunger fuelled for now.   
And now 1 minute before the show where we will officially play Heathens for the first time ever. 

3.  
2.  
1.

 

The heat from the harsh run on stage gathers under my red jacket that matches Josh’s. I burst into song.

Before Medley  
"Fairly Local" (Intro)/ "Heavy Dirty Soul"  
"Migraine"  
"Hometown"  
"Polarize"  
“Heathens”  
"House of Gold" (intro)/ "We Don't Believe What's on TV" / "House of Gold" (intro)  
"The Judge"  
"Lane Boy"  
"Ode to Sleep"  
B-Stage Medley  
"The Pantaloon"/ "Fall Away"/ "Johnny Boy"/ "Forest"/ "Addict with a Pen"/ "March to the Sea"/ "Kitchen Sink"  
After Medley  
"Holding On to You"  
"Twist and Shout" (The Top Notes cover; with Mutemath & Chef'Special)  
"Love Yourself" (Justin Bieber cover; with Mutemath & Chef'Special)  
"Jump Around" (House of Pain cover; with Mutemath & Chef'Special)  
"Ride"  
"Stressed Out"  
"Guns for Hands"  
"Tear in My Heart"  
"Car Radio"  
Encore  
"Goner"  
"Trees"

 

Fairly Local Intro/ HeavyDirtySoul  
My blood was pumping, my voice accelerating across the large venue as my words bounced back and forth between the obviously excited crowd. The twisting in my gut began to build. The energy was only getting higher and higher as the crowd tossed and turned in insanity. 

Migraine  
The heavy meaning song, that came from my wretched voice multiplying into thousands of kids, adults, people singing it back at me. The words digesting in my mouth and coming back up in the form of lyrics. As I moved and jumped across the stage, the rigid feeling in my gut dying down as I forced myself to relax into the stage persona. 

Hometown  
A small bubble of sickness came out of nowhere, crackling violently in my stomach. Building up into an ever growing storm that will stick in my gut for the next 10 minutes until I play this song that was supposed to help but has brought everlasting anxiety. 

Polarize  
Keep moving is all I remember. The lyrics rinse out my mouth as I continue to hide away the nervousness. Keep moving. Keep Moving. And sing. 

The world stops. Here we are the showcase of my emotions. The museum of my brain. Everything simply laid out for the world to see and the is a brand new exhibit for all these admirers to view.   
Heathens  
The slight twinge that the first echoing chord of the song produces a tidal wave of horrific terror. A violently loud, tiger like sound growls at me, my arms are constrained tightly. Bound and paralysed . I am here with everything I have, moments away from being ripped to pieces without a thing I can possibly do.

But then It stops.

The singular noise of every person in this stadium brings me out of my daze of fear and sprouts hope into the green garden that is my stomach. Happiness laps at my skin and I again feel the rejoice that I felt when I completed the song. Like none of the anxiety and stress had happened. I felt ookay again. The sea in my stomach had calmed and the storm had stopped.

\---

The show was a complete success and the frenzy over us playing Heathens live was a hit. Heathens is currently in ‘The Top 10’ In over 15 countries. It’s absolutely crazy. Earlier in the day I had spoken to an interviewer and released insights on my view of the song. 

“As I was writing the song I was like, I want this song to be a Twenty One Pilots song first. And I want it to resonate with our fans and make sense at our show. Even though the themes in the movie inspired the beginning of it, as the lyrics came together, and as the song came together, I realized, like, this was our song.”

Me and Josh are walking off to our dressing rooms, I held Josh’s hand in mine and pulled him along desperate to get privacy and hold onto something still to stop this incessant dizziness. 

‘Tyler wait!’ Josh exclaimed at me after a couple seconds of me practically running.  
I turned my head twisting, overwhelmed with everything that had happened over the last two days. He sees my unhappy smile and senses my upset mood. 

“Come here Baby Boy”  
I take a couple steps back to him and find his large comfortable arms wrapping themselves around me and locking me in a warm embrace that couldn’t of felt more like home.

“Let's have a shower get all… not gross. Then give Jenna a ring.” I just nod my head against his lean shoulder.  
He smiles at me softly before taking my hand in his and interlocking our fingers. We slowly walked to our dressing room, a quick contrast from before.   
\---

Jenna picks up immediately. Her tiredness showing. It was the middle of the night where she is but we hadn’t spoken yesterday so we’d arranged to talk tonight. Her purple under eye bags are showing slightly more than usual and her blonde silky hair is frizzy and messy. She looked gorgeous both me and Josh agreed.

“Hey, sleepyhead” I said to her, knowing she’d instantly become defensive.  
“Hey! You’re the sleepyhead” Both me a Josh giggle at her obvious ignorance of discretion.

“Hey J and T” Jenna giggled back, her eyes twinkling at us.

\--- 

 

Gilford, NH, June 18th, Bank of New Hampshire Pavilion

Josh’s Birthday.

Me and Josh are currently curled up in his bunk, we had moved the video chat with Jenna to his bunk to get more privacy after we had to get on with travelling on the bus. We must of fallen asleep cuddling after the call had ended. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep while we were still talking to Jenna though. I was pretty tired after the show and the near mental breakdown. 

I look at Josh, his soft pink hair lay around him like a halo. His breath evenly fanning out across my face. A mischievous smile forming across my face. 

I pull myself up without waking Josh and turn my body so I’m slightly hovering above him. Obviously not by much though because these bunks are tiny. And then I bring my rough hands down to Josh’s shirtless torso and began to tickle him. My hands moving erratically. Josh’s eyes open immediately, my hands waking him instantly and not in a good way. However my plan didn’t go so well as Josh’s reaction was to try and sit up. Which lead to our skulls being bashed together and mine being pushed to the bunk above. 

We both groaned in pain but began to giggle again.

“It’s my birthday you’re supposed to be nice to me” Josh whined childishly.

However barely seconds after he’d said that a look that was far from innocent crossed his face. As we both realised during the intimate wake up I had stopped hovering above him and was in fact straddling him with my head 50cm above his. He lifted his head and closed his eyes before whispering.

“Be nice Baby Boy.”

It wasn't the worst way to wake up because even though tickling isn’t the nicest way to be brought back to consciousness, making out 5 minutes after wasn’t bad. It’s definitely in my ‘Top 5’ favourite things to do. 

We lay kissing for a while. Me above him as things gradually got a little more heated. Both our hands wandering over each other's skin but both our boxers still wrapped our bodies maybe just a little less comfier and a lot more tighter. 

I pulled away from him. 

“Happy Birthday Dog Breath” I whispered before bring my head down to him again and kissing him slowly. 

The curtain of the bunk was roughly pulled away and both me and Josh were hit with sunlight blinding us temporarily.

“I called it” a voice said. 

“Wha-” I barely got out before who I figured out was Michael started again.

“Tyler I’ve known you for practically your whole life, you really think I wouldn’t catch on” 

“I mean-” I was cut off again.

“I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry, I already presumed Jenna was in on it so as long as that's cool i’m fine”

I nodded firmly still above Josh.

“Okay good, No come on everyone wants the Birthday Boy” And then Michael walked away without giving a second glance. 

I looked down at Josh, shock still evident on his features, I stared at him for a long time taking him in still feeling sleepiness in the back of my skull. Losing myself in time to only pull myself out of it around 10 minute later. I lean down onto his chest nestling myself in his neck to stir him from his daydream, and then pull back after laying a kiss on his cheek 

“This morning has already been very up and down and I’ve barely been awake half an hour. And 90% of it is your fault mister.” As he booped my nose. 

I shake my head, “It’s not my fault”. He looks at me vacantly and then continues “You tickled me awake.” he frowns and I nod my head guiltily. As late as a minute later, with an expression that I’d never seen cross Josh’s face he says “And you got me all hard and neither of us have time to do anything about it” I gulped. Not expecting that to come from Josh’s mouth but finding the oddly dominating tone very hot. “And you moaned too loudly earlier so Michael heard us”

“Bad Tyler” He said in the same seductive tone. 

By now both of us had very evident boners.

I start to remove myself from Josh’s lap because the friction was starting to get a little too much. And as we actually had to get a move on because we still hadn’t moved from when Michael came and spoke to us 15 minutes ago. 

Both me and Josh started to move around and get ready. Both of washing our faces and brushing our teeth before changing, taking our time. 

“We have to go to the others-” I start to say as we are both pretty much ready accept that both of us had left our trousers for last as they would make the situation in our pants more uncomfortable. However I only manage to get out half of the sentence before being interrupted for what felt like the millionth time this morning.

I was interrupted by the door at the end of the hall opening as Jenna walked through in jeans and a baggy shirt that was tucked into the denim, calling to the others “I’ll see what's taking them so long”.

Both mine and Josh's face light up not expecting to see Jenna so early. She looks at us reading our minds. “It’s like one in the afternoon you guys, you slept in super late.”

Josh being closer to her hugged her first and then as I stepped closer to her, hoping to also get a hug. 

She raised her eyebrows and said “So that’s why you’re taking so long” before giving both of us a once over with a particularly long glance at our crotches. 

I bit my lip and Josh looked extremely awkward. I think Jenna realised she’d made him uncomfortable and put an arm round him “Hey Josh, I’m not mad, you and Ty can fall around all you want, remember this is our relationship now.”

Josh looks a little more reassured, I take two steps towards Jenna and pull her into a tight hug. “I missed you Jen”. She takes her hands and holds my cheek, “I missed you too hun” before pulling me into a short kiss. She then pulled Josh in so we were all cuddling and then pecks his pink lips too. 

“Now both of you but on your pants and let’s celebrate birthday boy. 

Me and Josh grumpily pull on our trousers. And I realise my phone and things are still in my bunk as I slept in Josh’s so turn around and climb into my bunk trying to gather my things. But as I get out the bunk and face the front of the bus, I turn to see Josh and Jenna kissing. It’s an odd sight I must speculate. But odd doesn’t mean I don’t like it, it was just unexpected. 

Josh evidently still turned on from this morning was pushing against Jenna his dominance fading away as he got more needy. He rolled his body forwards against hers and Jenna pulled away frowning at him like he was a child and she was a teacher, scolding him for lusting. The action only made Josh needier as his breath got more uneven and he tried to kiss her again, only for Jenna to lean to him and whisper in his ear and then strut away and walk out the door at the end of the hallway.

“That was hot” I let out with a chortle.   
“You don’t say” josh replies breathlessly. 

“What did she say?” I ask more quietly.   
He gulps nervously and turns to me, making eye contact. 

“Wait for tonight, Birthday Boy”

“Oh geeze”

\---  
After a lot of birthday wishes and nostalgic conversations of the past month and fond memories of Josh, me included in most of them, we decided we’d book into the hotel. Even though we aren’t supposed to be staying tonight we booked a hotel so Josh could have a nicer day instead of just being in the venue or bus. It was a hotel that was nicer than the ones we usually spent nights in and we weren’t going to leave for the next venue until tomorrow morning however we were leaving at 7am. Tomorrow would be a mad rush because we should if been leaving tonight and driving all night but we chose to risk it. 

The funny thing is they booked us a hotel which seems like they were expecting Josh to get something cheeky for his birthday however Josh is single and isn’t one for one night stands and they have no idea about our polyamorous relationship, it was purely an innocent move so Josh could be comfortable. But according to Jenna’s plans it will be anything but innocent.

When we got to the hotel we decided to call Momma Dun. Most of the Duns were coming out to see Josh and watch the show however Momma Dun was unable too. 

“Hey mom” “Hey Laura” We all said in a chorus. 

“Happy Birthday Josh” She said with a proud smile on her face. 

“Hey mom, how’re you?” Josh asked politely

“Honey it’s your birthday let's talk about you. How has your day been so far? Did you see I tweeted you Happy Birthday” She says excitedly. 

Josh turns to me and Jenna who are cuddling next to him. I squeeze his hand which is off camera. 

“Yeah It’s been great, been with these two most of it so far and the crew but I’m excited to see everyone later. I did see the tweet, well done.”He says laughing at his mums excitement over the correct use of technology. 

“Aw bless all three of you….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! First of all, I doubt any of you care in this much detail but I have to change same dates around to keep the flow of the book going, Heathens was actually played live for the first time on the 28th of June. Second of all sorry this update took a while. I started to write a separate one shot about the Grammy's however I can't find much stuff on it at the moment so I'm waiting for the tour diaries to come out so I can complete it, this will not be connected to this story as I plan to continue this book to a series for each leg of the tour which will include a chapter on the Grammy's, hopefully. Thirdly leave a comment if you want me to add a sex scene in the next/ upcoming chapters, I will do it if people want but won't if not.


	10. I'm ready to beg.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isn't the most amazing chapter haha but this is a little bit of "sin"and fluff, hopefully when I write more and do the sequels etc I shall add more and stuff but this is about how much I can bare to do right now, sorry m'dears. I wouldn't count this is an actual chapter more as a little extra but I wanted to more on Josh's birthday. Hope you enjoy :)

18th June - Josh’s Birthday continuation…

All 3 of us were sitting on the double bed in Josh’s and I’s room. It was such a nice hotel that we had a double room with double beds, it’s kinda wild. However I sat cross- legged with Jenna and Josh next to me on either sides facing inwards so we had a small circle.

Music softly played in the background as me and Jenna smiled waiting for Josh to open his presents. So we know Josh dislikes us spending loads of money on him but we also have quite a bit and we really “love?” Josh. So we might of gone a little overboard but it’s all in good fun. 

As we looked at Josh, he smiled back nervously the tension rolling of his spine. He hates opening present in front of people, he says it’s super stressful even if he knows what the present is and how to react. He just hates when people watch him which is pretty ironic because he plays drums in the #5 biggest band in the world right now. 

As Josh peels of the neatly wrapped gift that Jenna gave to him, The tenseness dies down a little because it’s me and Jenna. Some black material falls out of the package. Josh hesitantly looks confused at the fabric as Jenna begins to giggle. Josh continues to pick it up and unfold it, realisation takes over his as he finds out what it is. He looks at Jenna.

“This is very pretty, thank you Jenna”  
“Show Tyler” says Jenna a little dominantly. 

Josh pulls on the fabric, It wraps around his head and all I can see is his eyes. It was a ski mask, like the ones we wear at our shows however this design was incredibly detailed. The white thread contrasting against the black fabric giving a simple skeleton outline however all along some of the crevices and the sides of the skull were beautiful pastel flowers that burst into contradictory colour. 

I gasp slightly “ooh that’s gorgeous” and a big smile lights up my face. “But open mine now Joshie” I continue.

As he takes my package he laughs giddily because my wrapping is, well let's say: not as good as Jennas. I giggle back at him and then watch him beadily as he continues to open my present, trying to be neat but then realizing because of my wrapping it doesn’t really matter. 

A small clear plastic box with green detailing on falls onto Josh’s lap, again a confused expression laps at his face and then he reads the clear font and breaks into an adorable smile.

“I thought we could put them up in your bunk so when we cuddle it'll be all cozy and that.”

“What did you get Josh?”

Josh turns the box to Jenna and exclaims “ Island fairy lights, look there's a little pineapple and palm tree and a flamingo but they’re fairy lights too” 

“Aw Ty how thoughtful, they look really calming too” Josh continually nods agreeing with Jenna. 

“This is calming too” I say as I offer him another present. This time it’s a basket and isn’t wrapped.

“This is from both of us, we had too once we found out about this hotel's bathrooms” I was now getting used to seeing Josh’s face confused because I felt like he had held the same expression at least 100 times in the last 10 minutes. 

But he looks into the basket and after a while of digging begins to giggle because in this very expensive and very big basket is all the beauty and relaxation products you could ever want honestly, me and Jenna went ham. 

Josh pulls out all the products on to the bed and begins to read all the different things: Bubble bath, bubble bars, bath bombs, soaps, shampoo’s and conditioners, body butters, moisturizers, face masks, oils, cleansers and lube. Lot’s of lube and condoms. 

I infact did not know about this lube or condoms and seems that Jenna has added at least 10 bottles of assorted flavours of lube and what must be around 50 condoms. I choked when Josh read them out which made him realise that Jenna had done this and not me.

This where I cue to me and Josh sat next to each other both our faces burning bright red as Jenna sat with a smirk on her face as she looks at her glass of red wine. 

At this point in time it is now 3.30. We are meeting people before the show for half an hour at 8:30 as we go on at 9.00 however will need to leave at 8, After the show we will go out and have a few drinks with people which means now may or may not be the appropriate time for one of Josh’s other birthday presents. 

I think both me and Josh realised this where as Jenna has had this planned. We both continue to look at her, which is when she decides to finally grace us with her beauty, by looking at us. 

Jenna clears her throat, she may like to be dominant but this is the first time ay of us have done something like this, and it’s the first time i’d be sleeping with a man, I’m not sure for Josh though. 

Jenna begins to speak “As much as I’d like to be super seductive and seduce you both right now huns, we have to talk about it all first.”

“Okay” both me and Josh say in synchronized speech which causes us all to giggle and lighten up the suddenly heavy mood. 

“Safe word?” “Birthday” I say giggling with a little smirk. 

Jenna looks at Josh “Have you done anything like this before” before eyeing me. Referring to me as men. 

He nods nervously “A couple times, enough to know what I’m doing”

“I change my mind” She giggles, “That’s all I need to know, anyone else need anything?” We both shake our heads and sit idly on the bed for a couple seconds because now no one knows what to do. 

“Let’s have a bath, okay? We don’t want to rush this or anything or have it feeling forced”

Both me and Josh agree. None of us want to have sex for the sake of sex and even though I do really want to, I’m aching too. But that conversation made it all a little bit awkward. So we choose to melt into our characters again and let the world take it from there. 

I think we were all aching for it at this point, obviously over the last couple weeks it has been building but evidently we’ve all been attracted to each other for along time so I can’t lie when I say I’m ready to beg. 

We all maneuver to the large bathroom. The bath looking like a small pool almost with jets on all sides. The large white basin has shards of amethyst surrounding it looking like it was straight from a fairytale. I did say that the hotel was really fancy. All for Josh. 

We dimmed the lights and started running the bath. All four taps running wildly. The Bath was so large it needed multiple taps otherwise it’d take forever to fill up. The clear water embellished the tub and filled me with excitement. 

When all the sides of the porcelain bath sloshed with water we disbursed the coloured balls of fizz. The top of the bath was soon filled with swirling colours and dynamite like scents attacking our noses. Van Gogh would be Jealous of such a pretty sight. 

The pinks, blue and yellows swirled inwards creating a pastel pattern that would be ruined the moment we stepped into it. We all stood in a our respective underwear, me in my striped colourful boxers and Josh in his black underwear. 

And Jenna in some frilly lacey pink bra and pants. 

We all look at each other smiling widely. 

“Come on in then” says Jenna as she raises her eyebrows and turns around. Her nimble fingers find the back of herself and play with the clasp of her bra which snaps back because of the elastic, she pulls the elegant underwear off of her bare chest and then bends down to pull of her knickers. 

Both me and Josh watch mesmerised however I know this bigger deal for Josh because this is the first time that he’ll see either of us in such a vulnerable state. At the hotel room before we played around touch a bit but everything came down to just being in underwear. This was a whole new step. 

Jenna hesitantly turned around both of mine and Josh's eyes on her she stepped forwards quickly and started to get in the bath. Sensing her uncomfortableness. Me and Josh looked at each other instead. 

We then both nervously looked at each other starting to realise, how this is reality, this is really happening.. But before either of our minds can go walkies. I step forward and hold Josh’s face in mine kissing him intently. He responds immediately his tongue sweeping into my mouth and me moaning into his. 

His hands reach for my boxers and I for his both of us finally being naked. 

“Come on, Jenna’s waiting” 

We both walk to the tub and hesitantly dip our toes in. 

“Jenna this is so hot” I whine at her, my toes feeling like their burning.  
“I know” Josh says sarcastically with a wink and so does Jenna. 

“Hey both of you better not start ganging up on me” 

“Oh but Ty that was the plan” The same fierceness that usually fuels Jenna is even more dominant than usual and Josh has the same look from earlier in his eyes. 

“Oh” I say gulping loudly, excited but nervous for what was about to happen. 

I finally get in the bath way too anxious to care about the temperature. As soon as my body hits the hot water I hiss. “Someone's excited” Jenna says a little meanly.

But I just say “Who isn’t” because I’m used to her domination during sex. However Jenna having two boys too boss around obviously made her feel more dominant because after I passed of that comment she gave me a sharp scolding look that made me recoil but made my boner impossibly more hard. 

“What did I say this morning Ty” Josh asks. “Bad Tyler” He says a couple seconds after. 

Both of them in this time had slowly gotten closer to me. Josh stood behind me. I could feel his dick pressed against me in the water. And Jenna was right in front of me. “Bad Tyler” She repeats. 

She kisses me fiercely and I feel Josh's tongue start to trace patterns along my slim neck. His kisses feeling heavenly as I explore Jenna's mouth. 

Jenna pulls away and I suddenly feel a loss of contact on my neck but I hear the wet sounds of Jenna and Josh kissing. I whine wanting attention. They pull apart and Jenna gives Josh a look. A look that told him to stand down and that she was the one in charge. Josh immediately became malleable and would do anything Jenna told him no longer powerful. 

“Now Tyler stop being a brat it’s Josh’s birthday, this is Josh’s present not yours”

I whine even more wanting and needing to be touched. Josh’s hand snake around my hips and pulls me closer, the tension building as he reaches forward to touch me however before he does Jenna interrupts. 

“What do you think you’re doing Josh?”

“Touching Tyler. Baby boy wants it, I want it”. 

“It may be your birthday Josh but who’s in control.”

“You, Jenna”

“And you only touch Tyler when I say so because Tyler's bad and doesn't deserve it, do you?” She says to me as she leans out and touches me. By this time I’m pantinng and ready to beg.

“Please Jenna. Please Jen, I need, I Need it, Jenna. Josh, Please, please” her hand softly touches my dick, not enough pressure which forces me to push upwards begging for more friction.

“You don’t deserve this do you Tyler?” Jenna repeats her voice straining letting me know I need to answer. 

\---  
We wake up at 7.15pm. All three of us had dozed of into the soft double bed after our afternoon of mischief Josh was in the middle of us because it was his treat on his birthday. I woke up with a start. Jenna was across the room carrying a small cake which had a candle in it. She jerked her head at me, telling me to wake up Josh.

I turn to him, his eyes shut and soft breath coming from his lips, he smelt of sex. I placed my hand on his bicep and shook slightly, Josh was a very light sleeper so it didn’t take much to wake him. His small eyes opened slightly and the words “I’m sleepy” leave his pink lips in a whisper. 

“I know buddy but we need to get ready to go. And Jenna has a surprise for you”

“No more presents, you guys way too much.” 

“I can’t promise that but I wouldn’t say it’s a present it’s just a surprise.” 

He opens his mocha eyes curiously. 

And as he opens them, Jenna sit on the bed. He sits up unsure of what's going on around him. And then realizes the is cake in front of him. 

“Happy Birthday Josh” both me and Jenna say. 

He smile sand blows out the candles then leans over the cakes and softly kisses Jenna then turns to me and does the same. 

“Bless you both.”


	11. Good News Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Part 1.   
> Josh and Tyler review the past month or so of tour while they set up to live stream for the APMA's.

This tour so far has been so crazily eventful, activities that invite opportunities at every corner. Right now I am sat in a small cornered off dull room with a sweating Josh so anxious he may just have a panic attack. I think we all feel like we are going to have a panic attack. Across the room a small slender women with blonde curled glistening hair elegantly walks across the room conveying no emotion

Her bland dress worn to assure us celebrities that we are the narcissistic stars and that they are not. Infamously famous as ironic as it is.

The girl looks fierce the lighting not cutting the severity of her snake-like eyes. She’s waiting for us to slip up or spill something, to overflow and flounder. And she is so close to getting what she wants . Both me and Josh have been a lot less paranoid over the exterior of our relationship and she is hunter waiting to kill her prey. 

She looks at us the cold glimmer of a headline decorating her pupil as she slowly but confidently utters the words “hello”. 

A shiver rinses up Josh’s back as I sit cold and quiet. “Hello” I say back nervously the tension building and crashing above me like a dark cloud. The interviewer can clearly see her presence has unnerved both of us for before she had entered the archway into the room ,we had been giggling sitting closer together huddled up mumbling about how crazy it was that we were here. 

When I say here I mean at the APMAS: The Alternative Press Music Awards.

On the 18th of July.

Well I say here we aren’t actually at the APMA's because we are still on the road in Seattle for our show tonight however we have to live stream us thanking everyone for the awards. 

The slender slinky women says “ Do you know what you have to say?”

“Yeah I think we got it I say with a small smile”

“Geez you could be a little more happy” She says snarling rudely.  
She then precedes to say “I’ll come back in 10 minutes. They’re gonna set up lights and shit so you better put your happy faces on for then”

And walks out the blue, tense room.

“Well she was a douche” Josh whispers before a large man starts to carry in equipment.   
I pull Josh down onto the sofa next to me.

“Are we just going to wing it for the most part J”

“Yea yea sounds good Ty just ya know the usual, don’t put-”

“You on the spot, yea I know, don’t worry Josh”

I pulled Josh into a hug pulling his very faded soft pink hair and black cap closer to me. 

“This year has been so crazy so far”

“Yea haha” Josh giggles and then continues to say” Remember when Heathens first got released or especially the music video, and all the cheeky stuff we got up to on set when no one was watching” His smile growing bigger and bigger. 

“Yea that was super funny, I remember how nervous I was about the release of the whole thing, after we released the video it felt like the whole project was over and it was great, well accept all the issues with the label and me leaking it, oops” 

\--- *F L A S H B A C K*---  
“JOSH MOVE OVER” I squeal muffled by Josh’s large toned body. He had decided in his excitement to come hurdling towards the sofa and crash over me. Jenna sat giggling at the other side of the sofa.   
“Okay big boy, let Tyler breathe”

Josh pouts, so i pull him into a quick kiss and then lean against the soft black sofa, Josh imitates me and does the same. Jenna slowly leans forward as her blonde hair sways slightly from the movement and catches both of our giggling pink mouths in a short kiss then snuggles up on to both of our warm laps. 

“You ready?” She says her eyes gleaming and looking up at us, grinning wildly. 

“Only if you are?” Josh says and then brings his hands to Jennas sides and starts tickling her. Jenna’s laugh spring upwards towards our ears and her eyes begin to leak with the pain of tickling. 

“Stop Josh, stop stop. Tyler tell him!” Her hands flying everywhere trying to grip onto Josh’s wrists however Josh was way to strong to stay within her grip so he just maneuvered around her tickling her more and more. 

“Please tyler.”

“What do i get out of it?” I say. 

Josh’s tickling slows and she ;looks up at me wide eyed and then sarcastically over exaggerates a seductive wink at me. 

“Well then.” i say before grabbing her wrists and saying “TICKLE HER JOSH” 

After a couple moments to sober up after all our laughter.

“But seriously, you ready”

“So ready” I reply to her.   
\---

 

“Oh or the time we nearly outed ourselves to everyone then ended up taking that photo of us in the rain to play it off and the whole of the clique went mental”

\--- *F L A S H B A C K*---

29th June, Raleigh   
I looked at Josh “I really don’t want to cancel Josh”

“I know buddy, but it might not be safe for everyone”

I pouted. 

Remarkably at that exact moment Mark walked over “Good news boys. The show should only be delayed not cancelled.”

This menat that hopefully that population of Raleigh wouldn’t hate them too much, unfortunately timing was not on our side as just as we’d arrived it had started raining extremely hard and a storm was supposedly coming. 

Mark continued talking and said “We need to post something to tell fans that aren’t here yet” 

“Wait people are still out there, it’s been raining ridiculously for the past 5 hours?” 

“Hardcore fans”

-

I’d taken Josh to the top of some stairs that had a small covering to stop the rain. Since Jenna left yesterday the crew have been trying to catch up with us more because we’d just been hanging out alone for most of the days so far

But I just wanted to kiss Josh and cuddle for a bit before I got back onto the social interaction train. Me and Josh were leant up against a wall giggling quietly and kissing between breathes. 

“JOSH”  
“TYLER”  
“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU”  
“JOSH”

Then abruptly the large metallic fire escape door opened and I pulled away from Josh hurriedly. Luckily we were just out of sight because we were around the side across from the door. 

“Hey Brad, Did you need something?”

“Yea guys the arena just said that in 15 minutes they’re finally gonna start letting people back in to queue. They had to send people away cos’ the storm but the area is gonna be swarming with fans again, so I just wanted to warn you guys.” He said as he pulled out his glowing phone and proceeded to text someone.

“Okay thanks Brad, I’m glad people will get to queue again it is pretty bad that they had to leave when they’d already been there for ages.”

“Yea it sucks but hopefully they’ll all get the right places back”

And then we head the unmistakable sounds of footsteps and marks head erupting from the darkened staircase 

“Geez guys we thought you'd done a runner again” he said his eyebrows raised as both

\--  
After 10 minutes of quick conversation between us and the crew that was slowly growing, Mark announced that they were about to let fans in so that we should start taking photos.

“Can I get one of you two before I go out and start doing the fan stuff.”

“Yeah sure, where do you want us?” 

Mark rolled his eyes, “Stop being lazy, do something cute” And then stared at us pointedly. 

We looked across the wasteland that was still pouring lightly with rain and I had an idea. I looked at Josh evilly. 

“Let’s run across here and into the rain, it’ll be so romantic. We can have a kiss in the rain then I can cross it off my list.” I say sarcastically. 

Josh shakes his head before nodding and agreeing that them running across the area would actually looking pretty cute.

\---

“Oh or when Jen ordered all those arm pads for you and your mushy elbows”. Josh laughs, his eyes squinting. 

“Yeah I got really annoyed at her because she thought I wasn’t tough.”

“Yeah it was really sweet actually.

\---*F L A S H B A C K*---

“I’m trying to return elbow pads because..”

Jenna turns more to Mark and his black camera.. “every time Tyler falls he hits his elbow, so I ordered him like.. 30. And he just doesn’t want to look.. Like he can’t take it.”

“So I’m gonna return all of the uh, protection.” She says her hood wrapped around her head to protect her. She was very sleepy and had not much sleep the night before. Lately she’d been worrying a lot about me because of what I’d been saying about the pain in my elbows.

“I missed the pain” 

Jenna kept bringing it up which i found endearing at first but after she ordered elbow pads it was the last straw. I appreciated that she cared but I was fine. So since earlier today I hadn’t exactly been talking her a lot. I wasn’t ignoring her but I wasn’t chatting to her loads. I know it's childish but we are both tired and moody. 

I feel bad for Josh because he feels like he had to pick a side and i know he agrees with Jenna. 

Mark panned the camera to the screen of her laptop and the page open, was a Amazon page with elbow pads displayed across the screen. 

“But anyways, seriously. Every time he falls he hits his elbow, and he hits his back.”

“The first month of touring, like, almost like bruises.”

Jenna turned from the laptop and looked at me pointedly, I sighed and decided enough was enough, I was being dumb, she just cared a lot. 

“Almost bruises?

“Yeah like I knew they were there-”

I cut her off “The were bruises, be dramatic! Say they were mushy and I couldn’t use my arms.”

Jenna giggles then turns to the cameras with a serious face, “Yeah every time he fell, he would break apart of his arm.”

I lost it in the background ands started laughing. When I looked up Jenna was looking at me smiling. I smiled back, confirming we were okay. 

\---

“Or when I started getting you flowers that matched your hair colour every time we re-dyed it” I say.

\--- *F L A S H B A C K*---

“Should I re-dye my hair?”

“As in, should you re-dye it the same colour or go a new colour?” 

“Well Hayley said she’d send me some of the new dye she’d working on, so until then I guess I should stay pink?”

“Well, I really like it pink so yeah you should!”

“Okay, when we stop off later we can pick up some more dye and then you could help me.” Josh says bumping his hip with mine slightly. 

“Sure honey bun.” I say back sarcastically. 

-

We were in the store and looking at hair dye. “I usually get this brand.” Josh says to me while picking up a box with a lady on it modelling her obviously photoshopped pink hair. So much for realism. 

I turn to Josh and lean my forehead on her shoulder. I kiss him lightly over his shirt and say “You go back to then Van and start setting up all this shiz, I’ll pay for this, I need get some other stuff anyway.”

Josh looks at me quizzically “Sure but what do you need?”

“Oh ya know, more red bull.” I say giggling, as I wink.

“Ughh! Jenna is gonna kill me when she finds out how much i’m letting you consume. 

“I’ll get you some to, don’t worry dawg”.

-

As I walk up the van around 15 minutes later I see Josh and Mark sitting around a table just outside the door to the bus. 

“Hey I got all the stuff out, but If you do my hair,we can do it out here instead of inside. It’s less messy and it’s super warm out here.” Josh says and then looks up at me. 

I hold out my hand, handing him a bouquet of pink roses that match his pretty pastel hair. 

I hear Mark fake gag to my left, “You guys are so sickeningly sweet.” 

After a couple weeks of us dating we decided to let a few close friends know just so we didn’t have to be so annoyingly subtle all the time, besides Michael already knew. And when we told Mark he’d just replied, “Yeah, yeah, I know. You really aren’t that subtle, I’m surprised you’ve only been dating a couple weeks.”

Josh thanked me and kissed me slow, and it filled me with joy and butterflies, and from then on I decided that I’d always buy him flowers when he did his hair. 

Mark also then persuaded us to take some pretty dumb photos that made it look like Josh was on a date with his roses, Just cos it was actually kinda cute, he said.


	12. I'm Josh's friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2.

Artist of the year.

3.  
2.  
1.

We’re live. 

 

“Hello APMA's" I start of as Josh does a little peace sign, as a welcoming gesture.   
“This is Josh” I say as I point over to him and then at myself, “And I’m Josh’s friend.”

“We’re Twenty One Pilots”

“Are they- are they still cheering?” “I don’t know” We joke.

“We’re -uh” Josh gets out before I interrupt him with “Are you still cheering?”

“They’re still ch- Probably not” Josh says jokingly, looking at me adoringly. 

“They’ve stopped cheering.” I mumble. 

Josh then raises his hands expressively. “We uhhh, are obviously not there. We’re sorry. We’re urm bummed that we can’t be there, especially because you're in Columbus, which is where we’re from.”

I then begin “Yeah we uh’ actually have a show tonight in Seattle, which is why we can’t be there. Urm, well we feel like a couple of dipcraps.

“Are you allowed to cuss on here” Josh lets out breathlessly, anxiety bubbling in him, trying to pretend to be joking around. 

“Yeah, I think so”

“Well you're fine, this is live, uhhh, we want to thank alternative press and…. we want to thank monster energy drink. 

“Yeah and mike shay and Jason pettigrew and just to the whole AP family they have been very kind to us.” I say. The list of people I need to thank, scrolling in my head as I begin to stutter out words.

“And they might be playing songs for us to be done with our acceptance speech,-shall we- shall we just.” I realise half way through what I am saying that the music has begun up, ushering us on.

“Oh they’re shooing us off” Josh says laughing lightly. Probably relieved. 

“Well- we- uh- we are honored to be involved with uh, especially with all the other bands, nominated with us, urm you probably deserve it more than us.” I say then to add a little more humour, I stumble out.

“but, I will say last year Josh was nominated for drummer of the year, he didn't get it, so in a way, I feel like this is uh this is kinda getting back at that.” Both me and Josh smile at this and then Josh adds.

“But I haven’t gotten any better” and smiles widely as we both begin to giggle at this horrendously awkward anxiety fuelling live stream was. 

The rude blonde lady comes over to us rolling her eyes at our childish behaviour. “You have another half an hour or so before your next award.” Then she stalks off. 

I turn to Josh and lean my head upon his shoulder, “What else has happened? Tell me a story.”

“Remember when we played at the APMAs back in 2014. When we actually got bigger and people knew us and we played Car Radio and Guns for Hands.”

“I remember that so clearly, we were so excited.”

“Well I mean, since we’re dating now I guess I can tell you this.”

I perked up at him and looked at him smiling, “why what is it?”

“Well I, I had a crush on you, didn’t I. So I remember thinking, this is it. I thought the fame would stop there and we would stop growing but I remember just knowing that I’d gotten so far with you and that if we stopped growing as a band I’d still be infinitely happy. Plus you looked really hot that day” He laughed after saying that.

“But I remember that when we got backstage I was so close to kissing you but obviously I couldn’t do that to Jenna. But then Jenna joined us later and i remember genuinely thinking that you guys looked so amazing that I don't want you to break up even though I really wanted to date you but then I just sort of clicked and realised that I wanted to date Jenna too. Which Is why after that I started hanging out and talking to her more. Because I felt like I actually wanted to know her better. So i guess that's why I agreed to everything so quickly. I've liked both of you for a while.”

“Awh Josh that’s so sweet”...”I liked you for ages as well, but I didn’t know it which is kinda cliche. But we’ve always acted like we dated, so it’s never been an issue and I've thought about kissing you before but I guess I find you attractive so I've never thought anything of it especially just cos of how we act. But I guess with so many people questioning it lately and seeing you with Jenna it really caught me off good, so I told Jenna and thankfully she agreed wholeheartedly.”

“Seeing me with Jenna?”

“Oh you, well we were messing around and you were lying on her lap and as a joke you bit a thigh and well I saw a glint in her eye and then she looked really guilty.”

“Really? She found that hot? I’m definitely gonna try that next time!”

“That’s exactly what I thought” I laughed. 

“Now you have to tell me something Ty!”

“Remember when it was 1am after that random show and I was really hungry because I’d been really stressed out and” I frown. 

\---*F L A S H B A C K*---  
“Ty… Come on, I know you're sad and sleepy, but you skipped dinner so let’s go and eat some cereal.”

Josh said as he held my hand and pulled me up out of the bed. “Hands up” and then “legs up”  
As he pulled his large jumper over my head and pulled on some warm socks onto my feet.

I pouted up at him. “I’m not carrying you baby boy, come on”

“Fine.” I said as I took his hand and he lead me down the corridor to the open kitchen. Everyone else had gone to sleep. It had been a very stressful day, a lot of things had malfunctioned. 

Josh sat me down on the black couch and started to get a bowl and spoons out. “What cereal?” he called out.

“Froot Loops”   
“You shouldn’t really at this time but I’m nice”   
“The nicest”

Just as Josh had put the cereal into my bowl which I was holding over my Pajama clad lap. He had just grabbed the milk. He leant down and kissed my head. “It’ll be okay baby boy. No more bad luck” 

He opened the carton and started pouring the liquid which is exactly when we went over a pothole. 

Literally milk everywhere. 

I just looked at Josh and scrunched up my face. Feeling myself break. 

I knew it was utterly silly to lose it over something so small but i was having a really bad day and I was already really emotional so it just pushed me over the edge.

“Oh no baby boy, please don’t cry.”

Josh decide enough was enough. He picked me up and let me wrap my legs around his waist. I cried quietly into his neck. 

We got to his bunk where he put me down and pulled off my trousers and replaced them with a pair of his underwear then he pushed me under the covers and got in beside me. He turned on the little island fairy lights i’d given him for his birthday and cuddled up really close to me. Spooning me and covering me in warmth.

“It’s okay Tyler, come one, let’s go to sleep, I know you're exhausted, shhh, calm down baby.” He uttered to me until i stopped crying, I then finally fell asleep and didn’t wake up till the morning. 

This was when Mark opened the bunk and shouted at us because for some reason the wwss milk everywhere. Both me and Josh looked at each other and busted out laughing. 

\---

“Yeah I’m super sorry about that, I kinda lost it a little bit then.”

“Just a little bit” Josh replied and continued laughing until the harsh woman came over again and glared at us like we were school children.

“Your due again in 3 minutes, be ready and actually talk about the award this time.”

Album of the year.

3.  
2.  
1.

 

“WHAT?”  
“WHat?”  
“WhaT?” We both say stupidly. 

 

“Wait what?” Josh repeats in a small voice

“WhaT? I say again

“What?” Josh asks questioningly.

“We just won another award?” I answer him.

“Oh”  
“Yea thats just- What.”I repeat again amazed.   
“Oh that’s awesome. Was it for the best drummer of the year?”

“nO” I look at him smiling at his acting. “No it was not Josh”

“Well uhh- what was it for”  
“It was- it was for album of the year”

“Which is really good” I say out loud. And I hear that snarky women snickering at us.   
“Yeah”

“Which is also really good because that's the award that solely based off of fan voters, so thank you guys very much for doing that” I say, the fans were so incredibly important to us without the awards. And it was insane that we were even getting an award, awards. 

“So when the fans listened to it and voted, this was the best album of the year which- the drums. It has drums in there, so that means it's probably the best drums,yeah.” Josh says still sticking to the idea of him getting the award. 

“No, no you did not win drummer of the year...We've talked about this” I get out trying not to laugh. 

“Well I'm gonna keep trying but urm thanks for everybody that voted. For our album and-” Josh tries to say but I cut him off, “I don't even think you were even nominated for drummer of the year”

“Yeah I - I don't think so either, urm” Josh says trying to to giggle, because this was beyond stupid. 

“I'm just saying you went backwards since last year” I say back, “No I know I was actually nominated last year, I didn't win but I get it, but still thanks guys for voting and supporting our album” Josh replied back to me, still stifling a laugh. 

“Yeah it has josh's drums on it”  
“It has my drums in there” Josh says exactly as he figures out what I’m saying. Our voices overlap and it sounds ridiculous. At this point we were both smiling wide done with the serious composure. 

“And yeah so thanks again to alternative press, journeys sneakers and all our friends and family there at the shot and scene center tonight.” I say towards the camera. 

“Urm Guys thank you all you fans there urm for accepting us and listening to our music and….ugh, and also it's really an honour to be mentioned with all these awesome bands….urm, that are presenting, performing and that were nominated….and to be in the same group as you guys is really an amazing ugh thing for us so thanks again.” I continue. 

“Look out for drummer of the year next year….Tyler Joseph” Josh says leaning towards me as we both finally start laughing. 

“Cut!” and the live stream is cut off so we both continue laughing wildly. 

The snake like woman walks over to us, “Okay you're done, you can leave now.” We scoff at her rudeness but begin to make our way to the venue’s green room.”

“Remember the time we met alligators. Those were cute as heck.” I say as we stroll up the staircase.

“Yeah fred was a cutie” Josh looks at me and laughs. 

“I don’t know about you but I have laughed so much today that I need a snack and then maybe some Mario Kart before the show to get my energy up?” He continues. 

“What kind of snack are you talking about?” I say bumping his shoulder.

“I heard a rumour that the is a taco bell round the corner.” he says and raises his eyebrow. 

“I could never say no to Taco Bell, you and Mario kart, race you, to the dressing room.” I say and then sprint.


	13. "You're just cute buddy"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just writing up the last chapter of this book and then I can officially start planning the second book which will be the next leg of the Emotional Roadshow World Tour.

July 21st, Berkeley, Hearst Greek Theatre. 

As the car slowly maneuvers us forward, both me and Josh pulled to the window, the vast wasteland of pavement was riddled with idle people. Standing and belonging in a line, for us. 

The was soft girls with long pastel hair, and tall boys with unruly curls. 50 year old mums also excited to see us and not feeling like they were being dragged by their children to a concert. 

It was extraordinary. From the day we were signed to today. Even from when we started out before Josh had joined Twenty One Pilots. I had never experienced something so honestly pleasant as seeing people excited to see you. Their wondering eyes holding something more than just joy, something like pride and hunger. 

And as I look at Josh. He’s eyes also full of pride and hunger but for an entirely different reason. He was so indefinitely proud of himself and had so much hunger for more. But not in spite of greed he thought he didn’t deserve any of it but the hunger to make more people happy. I had the same look in my eyes too. 

Josh suddenly turned to me, his eyebrows raised looking at me slightly confused. “What?” “You’re just cute buddy”

He smiles downwards, blushing slightly. “Thank you”

I pull out my black sleek slender phone. 

“They deserve another ‘Thank You’ I think.” I say cryptically before tweeting 

“just drove slowly past the entire line for our show today.  
i’ve fallen for you guys. each one of you.”

Josh’s phone dings comically at me. He again raises his bushy eyebrow at me and looks down at his lit up phone. He smiles fondly and leans over the seat and kisses me chastely. “Your such a dork” and smiles widely “but I totally agree.”

“Well you're just a dork too then” I say cracking a smile back at him.

-

“Hey Jordan”

“Hey Tyler”

I walked up to him smiling, I pulled him to a quick hug. “Josh is just showering, we didn’t think you’d join so early.” 

“Yea I know but I woke up super early and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

“Oh? Anything bothering you.”

“Course not just, well I guess I’m just nervous for you guys, you're playing such a big couple of shows in a few weeks.”

I raised my eyebrows at this, we are a very tight knit group of friends/family however this seems a little excessive, I tilt my head as well, a manner hopefully internalising my thoughts.

“I’m just a little worried I’m going to get fired from my job”

“Ah, I’m sure it’ll be fine Jordan, besides you’ll be able to get another one if you do.”

“Yea it just sucks anyway, but wanna watch the simpsons while we wait for Josh?”

“Sick”

After another half an hour of Josh stumbling around trying to get ready and eating some cereal, we finally headed out of the hotel to sight-see around Berkeley, as we were playing another show there tonight we were staying in a hotel. Which at this point, is pretty much the dream. 

Soon enough we got tired and decided to go to a cafe. Jordan excused himself to got to the toilet. 

“So I probably should've asked before but are you gonna tell him?”

“Tell him?”

I gave him a pointed looking and raised an eyebrow. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. 

“I don’t know what you mean.”He said quietly and then Jordan sat back down again. His knees knocking against ours under the very small metallic table. 

“Lovers spat?” He said jokingly obviously seeing the serious shadow across our faces. 

I laughed automatically but Josh immediately started to choking on his sip of coke cola. 

Soon enough Josh returned to his normal self and tried balancing his anxiety about telling his brother that he was having an affair, a consensual affair with his two married best friends. Geez that was heavy. 

“So Jordan, how's it going?”

“Ah I was saying to Ty earlier, I think I might get fired.” He draws out quietly knowing if he didn’t mention it himself I’d probably just tell Josh. 

I was more than a little confused by his behaviour. Earlier he had seemed so anxious to tell me about his job but evidently didn’t have much issue revealing it to Josh. I know they’re obviously sibling but it’s like he didn't actually care that much about losing his job, so I wonder why he seemed so jittery this morning. 

 

“Oh, why?” Josh pushed further, a little confused as to why he’s seemingly perfect brother would get fired. Although he loved Jordan he knew he could be a little cheeky but other than that he was a very polite boy. 

Jordan fidgeted and then laughed heartedly, “I guess I just slacked off” obviously feeling slightly awkward because he’s brother thought it’d be impossible to fire Jordan as he was perfect to an extent, which also made jordon shudder because he could definitely see his flaws and could definitely see he wasn't perfect. 

A look of concern passed Josh’s face and ended with the thought that this maybe wasn’t a conversation to have here, right now. 

However just as Josh opened his mouth to start a new topic. A girl interupted us.

“Oh god I’m so sorry” She got out and smiled at us. Her black patterned shirt stating her interruption. 

“Oh are you a fan?”

“Yea sorry to interrupt I feel bad really, but I couldn’t pass the opportunity to thank you, both of you.”

Jordan now looked considerably more awkward. 

-  
Over the past couple of days all three boys and grown more and more uncomfortable and irritated and Mark and just about enough of it.  
-

Mark pulled me aside. “Okay what is the deal, It’s like living with three grinch’s.”

“Josh feels awkward about telling Jordan, about ya know. So I’m just grumpy cos he is completely blocking me off even though we acted weirdly close before it’s like he’s hit a reset button and Jordan obviously knows something is up. Jordan's got his own stuff and I think being in a toxic environment is probably not helping. And well Josh is having a melt down but won’t let me anywhere near him….. I think he might be having second thoughts” I add smalley.

The anxiety finally being relieved to tell someone but now it become all too real. 

“You are all being a little dumb. Just talk to each other. And trust me Josh won’t be having second thoughts.”

-

Later that night I feel a slight tug of my curtain. Then Josh’s face appears out of nowhere. 

“Look Ty, I heard you talking to Mark earlier. I’m not having second thoughts. But I’m not gonna tell Jordon.”

I sigh. “I can’t force you too if you're not comfortable so okay.”

“But I want us to act normal just maybe without actually kissing in front of him. I don’t want to tell, i’m too scared plus it’s him he’ll be pretty darn awkward about it too. I think I just want him to notice it then I’ll talk to him after it’s settled a bit, okay?”

“Okay I, now can you get in here, and spoon me. I've missed you”

“I miss Jenna as well”

I missed her too so we rung her up. 

Ring Ring.

Jen: Hey huns, you okay?

Ty: We sorted the disagreement but now we are all sleepy and we missed you.

Josh: Yeah when are you coming back?

Jen: Not till New York, you babies

Josh: Don’t you miss us even a little bit.

Jen: of course I do, you’re both my baby boys. 

Ty: come here please jen. 

Jen:You know I would love to but I can’t.

Josh:But Jen, we need you.

 

It may of taken a couple of hours, but we convinced her. She was going to ask for the days of to come back to us on the 30th. 

-

The next day, In both Josh and mine sleepy stats we started our plan to be affectionate but not too affectionate. We were holding hands. Both of yawning uncontrollably as we took it in turn to see each other yawn then reciprocate it. Which made both of us giggle.

Jordan was sitting on the black sofa, In his grey trackies on his phone. “Good to see you to are back to normal” he called to us. We both smiled and I asked him if he would like a coffee. 

As I got up and made the coffee, Josh followed me round the corner into the small kitchen. “Thank you.” He whispered in my ear and kissed me quickly, the made his way back to the sofa.

After I made the coffee we all gathered around the sofa clutching our mugs watching Rick and Morty on Netflix. I was cuddled up against Josh, virtually no space between us. Just like normal. A primal happiness filled my gut as I was overfilled with joy. And the I recieved a text that made it infinitely better.

“I got the days off. See you soon boys! “

“Josh! Josh, jOSH, Jen is gonna come. Jen got the days off, she’s joining us soon.” I said smiling and laughing. Josh to reciprocate the joy and pulled me into a cuddle.

“Good I missed that bundle of joy.” He said to me. 

Jordan just looked at us fondly from across the sofa. 

\--  
June 30th, Milwaukee, BMO Harris Pavilion

Me, Josh were going to pick up Jenna, at first Jordan was going to come with us but Mark made up a lie saying he needed Jordan for something. I think Mark registered that if we were going to deal with not telling our families especially Jordan then we needed to have a chat and a cuddle before Josh had to act a little separated. 

It was fine to act all cuddly and close with me but Josh can’t exactly give Jenna shoulder kisses and tell her he loves her way too affectionately in front of Jordan. 

So as we walked in my head I couldn’t help but wonder and think about the idea of Josh getting upset. I mean if it was me and I had to act like I wasn’t part of Josh and Jenna’s relationship, I’d feel so left out, and it’s not even like we sneak off. On tour it’s harder to get away, especially harder to find locked doors to stop prying eyes spying. 

“Look Josh, this is gonna be hard, you don’t have to act tough. You basically have to do it for 2 weeks.”

“Geez, you think I don’t know Tyler” He snapped, tear in his eyes. 

“Oh Josh, Shhh, don’t be upset.”

“How can I not be upset”

I just pulled him close to and held him while he sobbed into my chest. Eventually he stilled and rested against me. After 15 minutes of us stood like this, Jenna suddenly appeared in front of me. 

“Jen” I said calmly smiling.

“Oh hun, you’ve got yourself in a mess” She said to Josh who was now still hugging my chest but had turned his head so he’s eyes were just peeking out under his hood. His eyes still bleary and red from crying. 

“Come here” She said and pulled him into a hug.

Obviously we’d texted and told Jen on the phone that we thought it’d be best to leave are unusual relationship unspoken around the family and probably tone it down quite a lot especially when we are in New York. 

“Let’s get coffee and sit in a park somewhere for a couple hours, we can catch up.” Jenna offered. 

\--  
After the show just before the encore, we noticed Mark was filming for the recap videos. Between the show and encore we are usually left alone.

This meant that when I saw Josh a unnatural meeting occurred. It was just like how I imagined the next 2 weeks to be like. 

I nodded at Josh awkwardly and said "That was a good one” and raised my hand fist bumping him. It was a very surreal moment, we really don’t do thing like that unless it’s a joke usually we greet each other with quick hug and kiss. The next two weeks were gonna be very difficult. 

“Yeah” Josh replied unsure of what to say but then threw off the unnatural performance by smiling and saying “Little encOREO?”

“We’ve got our encOREO's here” 

We both knelt down opening the packet of snacks. And dunked them, in the red solo cups of milk that had been left out for us.   
Josh turned towards the camera, He holds his oreo up as if to say cheers and goes to eat it. 

I mock being offended and say “hey, hold on.” and held my oreo to his, saying cheer to him. Which made both of us giggle and laugh at the stupidity. 

Josh shoved the cookie in his face and at his excitement managed to spill some of the milk onto his pants. Which made him jump into a long winded explanation:

“I spilt milk on my pants, but It doesn’t matter. This is a camouflage, If you’re in a, In a forest of milk.” I just look at him thinking what on earth is he going in about. 

I turn to the camera. “Okay we’ve our encOREO, we’re ready to go back out.”


	14. Grass Inspires Me

August 1st, St Louis, Day off. 

Third person POV

Tyler, Jordan, Mark and Michael had all gone out.

Josh and Jenna were left sitting on Jenna and Tyler’s double bed in the hotel. 

Jenna pulled herself under the covers and began to snuggle up but before she could lay her head down Josh said “wait”. He then pulls himself across the bed and lies down almost under her so that she can curl up on his chest. They both lie there for a couple minutes in silence. 

Their eyes shut as the sun from the window gently warms them and creates a pink and white firework display on the backs of their eyelids. 

Jenna breaks the silence, “How are you hun?”

“I’m really scared Jenna, telling my parents when I dated Debby was scary, this time I have to explain to them that I’m also attracted to guys and that I am dating my two married best friends. It’s a lot to drop on them.”

“Yeah, but I know your family... and they are all beautifully accepting.”

“I think even the most accepting of people might struggle to process it a little bit Jen. What about your parents?”

“Well I guess we’ve been so wrapped up in you and Ty telling your own families, we forgot about mine.” She laughed. “I think when you are both ready to tell your families, then I shall also tell mine.”

“Okay Jen” Jenna shuffled her body, pushing more of herself against Josh and turning so her head now lay vertical on his chest and could look at him. 

As a natural reaction to being pushed against, his hands gripped Jenna’s waist. She simply raised her eyebrow at this, she leant down and kissed his chest softly.

Josh’s eyes shut instantly as he relaxed against her. 

“You’re playing Madison Square Gardens in 10 days Joshua Dun”

“I am, crazy right?”

“The craziest, You nervous?” She then paused and scoffed. “Your nervous for every show I don’t know why I asked.”

“Hey why don’t you try playing shows every night and then add some anxiety in too.” Josh said laughing as he poked at her ribcage making her laugh and squeal. 

“Okay, okay I get it Josh.” She said now hovering on hands and knees over him. He’s upper body pushed upwards as he chats to her. 

“When I’m up there It sometimes feels like I can’t breath…. kinda like now.”

“And why can’t you breath Josh?” She says biting her soft pink lip, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders and head. 

“Cos you're pretty.” Josh says softly, nearly whispering. 

She leans down pushing her now rosy lips down to his. And he kisses back instantly, soaking in her warmth and love. They keep pushing each other closer as they groan and moan into each others mouths. Josh’s hands wander upward his large hands pushing up the light cotton shirt Jenna had worn as pajamas the night before. 

“Is this okay?” Josh said voice trembling slightly, either from want or nervousness.   
“Will Tyler care?” His voice says again, but Jenna just shakes her head and says “No, love” and kisses him again and this time he doesn’t stop her. 

-

Tyler POV

As I stumble back into mine and Jenna’s room and basically Josh’s, I notice Jenna is in the shower and Josh is laid on the bed wrapped up in the duvet watching some kids cartoon on TV. I shut the hotel door which causes Josh to look up at me. Seeing my evidently upset face, he raises his arms. Silently inviting me over for a cuddle.

“Can I be the little spoon?” I say in small soft voice.

“Of course baby boy but leave space for Jenna to get in front of you. I just nodded tiredly in reply.

He pushed himself all the way over to the other side of the bed. And he also begins to push the quilt back to let me get under when he suddenly blushes. The tips of her ears and his cheeks burning scarlet red as he realises he’s still naked. 

He coughs awkwardly, clearing his throat. “What's wrong Joshua?” I ask mockingly.

He mumbles something unheard. “What?” I say cheekily enjoying his embarrassment. 

“Can you pass me my boxers.” he says biting his lip.

I march around the bed to see his grey briefs at the bottom of the bed. I throw them at his face laughing at his awkward demeanour. 

“Don’t worry Josh” I say trying to remember even though we’d been dating around two months, that he hadn’t fully adjusted to this openness yet.

He pulls them on and then calls me over. He gets comfy under the duvet and pulls me by the waist. We are soon in a tight spoon with the duvet tucked all the way around us and our legs tangled together. 

 

“Well aren’t you too the cutest” Jenna says as she walks out of the bathroom in one of Josh’s long shirts. Both of us pout at her. I think she notices that I don’t look so good. She walks up to the bed and sits on it side ways.

She brushes the hair out of my face as Josh kisses my neck softly burying his head in the nook of my head and neck. 

“What’s wrong baby boy?” She says to me and only then does my lip start to shake and tears began to pour down my red rosy cheeks. 

“I just never thought we’d end up here, this big, this crazy, y’know?”

“I know but that isn’t a reason to be upset, is it?” Says Jenna kindly. 

“No but it’s a little overwhelming” 

“Well do you know what helps with that?” Josh speaks up. I shake my head slowly, confused at what he was asking

“If it’s tickling, I’m going to hit you.”  
“It better not be tickling.” says Jenna and I at the same time. Which make all three of us giggle uncontrollably. My tears now drying and I feel a little better already. 

I love these guys.

Wow. I. Love. Them.

I mean i’d obviously told Jenna I loved her and when me and Josh admitted feelings for eachother we had said we loved each other but we hadn’t said it since or said it as a polyamorous relationship.

But it was clear now.

I love them. I love him. I love her. 

“Its seems Josh has an addiction to tickling us.” Says Jenna fondly and then tickles his side softly. It’s safe to say Josh wasn’t expecting that as while he was nuzzling into my neck he’d been kissing my neck gently, comforting me. But Jenna’s sudden attack made him accidently clamp his mouth shut and bite me softly. 

Which may of caused me to groan.

Jenna rolled her eyes, “Jeez, you guys are horny all the time.” Both me and Josh blushed at her comment. 

“Actually that reminds me of something.” Josh says a smirk suddenly washing over his beautiful face as he sits up and leans down on his arm behind me, he’s bottom half still spooning me. 

“What?” says Jenna sounding intrigued.

“Tyler told me…” His fingers begin to drag down my sides as he looks at Jenna mischievously.”..That how you guys starting wondering about this polyamory business was when we were all messing around.” Josh raises his eyebrow accusingly at Jenna. It was now her turn to blush.

“And you were speaking and laughing about me so I bit down on your thigh to. Shut. You. Up” Josh forms these words quietly, softly but seductively. 

Jenna’s face was dusty pink and her wet lip was stuck between her teeth hotly. 

\--

I proceeded to be upset for the following couple days, i guess it’s how I work. I tend to have weeks being really happy then weeks of being down. In hindsight it’s probably good i’ve been having some down weeks because hopefully then when we play Madison Square Gardens I’ll be happy. 

It came to the 8th of August at Duluth, Infinite Energy Arena. 

I was still out of energy, out of happiness, well excessive happiness. I still enjoyed the mornings that i woke up snuggled up to Josh and Jenna but on the bus I couldn’t because we didn’t want to freak out Jordan. 

I love Jordan but I also sort of hate him at the moment. 

Today was the first day off before the big dates. Therefore I woke up spooning Jenna on a bed in New York City. However I couldn’t feel Josh in the bed behind me. But then I heard the little pitter patter of the water dripping and falling in the shower. 

I stood up and looked at my phone. A twitter notification.

Josh Dun: tyler did a real good singing job tonight in nashville it was cool. 

And the only thing I could think is ‘what a cutie’ 

\--  
“Josh?” I called

“Yeah” he replied quickly. 

“What Inspires you man?”

“Urm… Grass, long uncut grass” He says totally serious.

“So.. failure to conform” I laugh lightly. “It scares you?”

“No it inspires me.” Josh says confused at what I was talking about. 

“Oh! I was talking about your fear” I explain laughing. 

This starts Josh off too.

As I start trying to do my belt again, I continue to explain, “I thought I said, uh, what uh…”

“Scares you” Josh finishes. Which again makes it enter laughing fits which we helplessly try to escape. 

“GraSS!” I finally get out. Laughing at the prospect of Josh being scared of grass. 

\--  
The 9th of August finally brings me out of my slump.

Today we are meeting up with the rest of both mine and Josh’s family.

We have just woken up and we have to go to the airport in three hours to get everyone. I turn to my side to see both Josh and Jenna still sleeping. Jenna had been in the middle last night. We have to keep it on a rota because we all like being in the middle. It’s the cosiest place to be, locked in a cuddle for like 6 hours. 

Although this morning, I’m the first to wake so I lean over and call the hotel reception and order us some breakfast. Management will kill me for ordering from the hotel but It was worth it to see the best two people on earth wake up and eat some food all sleepy and barely awake. Right in their innocence no matter how dirty the night before was.

When the food comes, Both Josh and Jenna have began to stir, by this time i’ve already showered and put on fresh clothes. 

“Good Morning hun” I whisper to them as both their small eyes blink open at the light. Josh’s face is lit up with a gentle smile 

-

I sit driving the rented car, Jenna is besides me in shot-gun and Josh sits in the middle seat so he can lean forward. Arctic Monkeys, AM album is playing over the crisp speakers. 

“You ready for a non- existent relationship for a couple days” Jenna says sarcastically. I cough clearing my throat, “Just so it’s fair Josh, me and Jen are gonna hold off too”

“Thank you but you really don’t have to, as long as I can steal some kisses around the place, I’ll be able to do it.”

“Ya know what, you can steal some now.” I say as I pull the car over. “We are 20 minutes early so if we stop here for 15 minutes, I’ll finish driving up and we can meet them just on time.”

“Wait swap with me Jen, you can sit on my lap.” Josh says, and then proceeds to open his door, get out and open Jenna’s. After, he pulls her onto his lap, he leans forward and presses his soft lips to hers. After a while he pulls away and buries his head into the crook of Jenna’s neck. “This may be harder than I thought it was gonna be” His muffled voice trembles out. 

I pull at his ‘Twenty One Pilots’ black hoodie, “Josh I wanna” I whined childishly. He pulls back and looks at me. His sad eyes gaining a few little tears. 

I pull him to a passionate kiss. My hands are grabbing the sides of his face, “It’s gonna be okay, It’s gonna be okay.” I say


	15. Madison Square Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware a lot of this is speeches, sorry but this chapter was reserved for madison square garden and I wanted it to be emotional but still have the side plot. This is the last chapter of this book may in the future do another book however with the second leg of the store they didn't release much of what they did and any social media is hard to find as it was a year ago.

August 10th, New York, Madison Square Garden Night 1

\---  
MICHAEL  
\----

 

“The is a moment in the set right here

I’d like to talk to you real quick

There's several people in this room right now

That we would not be up here on the stage  
If it weren’t for them 

But there's one person in particular

I would like to talk about  
Real fast  
Efore we get back into the music 

Real quick

Five years ago, a little over five years ago  
This Person came to me and said “hey i know you're travelling round, starting to play music, that's me and josh, i'd like to get on the road 

I believe in what you doing 

And i'd like to do this 

This is my good friend, his name is Michael Gibson 

And  
Listen

Let me tell you about michael real quick

I've known michael since i was a little little little kid, okay”

“I'm talking, hold on.” I shout to the crowd.

 

“Sorry that wasn't very nice, I’m sorry” I say after a couple of seconds. 

“You're sorry. Cool. Were all sorry” I shout back to the crowd after some of the people had apologised. 

 

“But my friend Michael 

I've known him since I was…. before kindergarten even and he's been on the road with us for every single show 

I was talking to my wife, Jenna earlier and I said

I said to her, i'm trying to think who's seen more shows

Who has seen more shows... and this guy take the cake 

Hes seen more twenty one pilots showa than anyone else in the entire world 

 

He let us borrow his car, we stuffed stuff in there and we drove over the place 

One of the first place we went to outside of our home state was actually in New York 

But it was like upstate so it wasn't like this 

And one of these first shows , we played was a VFW kinda thing 

No one else was there accept the bands that were playing after us, we watched them and they watched us 

 

And the was no one else there 

And the was a guy there, the promoter 

That put the show on, he said that he would pay for us to come out there. 

For gas and because no one showed, he wasn’t able to pay us 

He owed us $20, I think his name was nick. 

If you're here nick , its cool 

 

But it was Michael that said he was tryna search him down

And’ say you owe us $20’, its principle and everything

But he’s been around since the very beginning, so i wanted to bring him up here 

And i’d like to take a picture with you guys with my friend Michael 

 

So i'm saying all this because my good friend michael, he's been on the road with us for over 5 year snow 

And this is his very last show before he goes on and does big and better things  
This is his last show right here in the garden 

 

Our friend michael has taken us from a VFW and turned it around from a little building all the way round to madison square garden 

 

Everyone give it up for my friend michael gibson.”

Michael leaving was something that I couldn’t measure, the sadness that filled my gut as I spoke the speech made him leaving ever so more real.

He was here from the start. He was comfort. He was Twenty One Pilots. 

\----  
TREES  
\----

 

“When I got here earlier today,

We were sound checking, I was standing on this stage, 

Looking around the empty arena

And I could only think, think of a three word phrase.

 

And after soundchecking whoever i’d run into

Backstage, people I know, people that work with us,

All I had on my lips were those 3 words 

I’m gonna tell you those three words 

 

The first one

The first one I would like to define,

clarify,

The first word is 

We

And when I say we, I don’t just mean me

And I don’t just mean that guy over there on the drums.

 

I don’t just mean our label, booking agency, publishing,  
all those people who are here tonight checking us out,

watching what it is that you guys created.

 

It's not just our family. 

It’s not just our friends.

It’s not just the other bands that play with us. 

 

It's not this amazing crew that tours with us. 

It's not just… our amazing crew that tours with us.. Again.

 

Its somehow not just you guys, in this room

But it's the thousands of other people that are going to hear about his show too. 

It's all of us combined

 

Listen. 

So that was just to define the first word. 

We.

That's what I mean when I say we.

 

The phrase is this,

I just couldn’t stop saying this all day, anyone I saw, they’d say ‘what do you think of this’ 

 

I just said ‘We did it’

 

Listen. 

 

Every single one of you that's listened to me say that, 

you can yell out afterwards.

This is a celebration! 

 

We did it.

 

Could you please give it up for my very good friend.

I wouldn't be up here without him

Josh Dun on the drums.

 

But we almost gave you everything we had, 

 

I promise you 

 

We are gonna give you everything we have left.”

\--

 

11th August, New York, Madison Square Gardens, Night 2

We are sitting in the green room, We’d finally managed to get away for a couple minutes. The door was locked behind us so no one could see us in our comfortability. 

 

Josh and Jenna were talking to me, 

“We are so proud of, I know that you've both been emotional lately. This was a massive milestone for you, I’m so proud of both of.” Jenna says. 

“And I am very proud of you too, We did it Tyler. So here is your treat.” Josh exclaims.

I cock my head to the side confused. 

Jenna turns to look at me as she is sat on the sofa next to me. 

Her eyes drop down to my lips as she licks hers. 

“Wha-” I’m just about to say but then Jenna is kissing me and I can hear Josh moving around. A bang pulls me and Jenna from our heavenly daze.

The bang was Joshua Dun dropping to his knees in front of me.

He slowly reaches forward and pushes my legs apart.

Jenna’s soft hand pulls my face towards her again. She winks and bites her lip.

“Enjoy it hun” She says before pulling me back into a kiss, however this is not gentle nor soft. This is feverish and hot, the ache in both of us getting harder and harder to ignore as Josh begins to kiss up and down my thighs through the material of my shorts.  
-  
Soon enough one of my hands is caressing Jenna and the other is wrapped around Josh’s pink hair.

I’m groaning and moaning softly into Jenna’s mouth as Josh’s moans mouth over me. 

And I’m sure you can imagine how that ended.

-  
I’m panting and biting my lip as I spill over the edge.  
-

“You know I've been imagining you doing that for a long time Josh, and you did not disappoint.” I say to Josh before pulling him further towards me and kissing him roughly.

“Sorry if I pulled your hair to hard.”

“That's okay, I liked it.” Josh says, his face seductively answering me. 

I kissed him again harshly.

He was just too damn good.

“I need to clean myself up, I’ll be back in a minute.” I tell both Josh and Jenna.

I stand up and start to do up my trousers and began to walk around the room.

I unlock the solid door and step outside taking a deep breath. Jesus that was hot. 

-  
Josh’s POV

As Tyler steps out the room to tidy himself up, I close my eyes and try to catch my breath. But everything's a lot harder when you're well, harder than usual.

A knock on the door startled us, “10 minutes till you guys go on” Mark shouted through the door.

“Tyler will be back in a minute.” Jenna’s voice breaks through the silence. 

I open my eyes to see Jen watching me. I am still kneeling on the floor as she sits on the couch. Her legs slightly splayed open from arousal.

I take in a deep breath and kneel up, I crawl towards her, I was going to have such bruised knees. I lean over her so I can look her in the eye. “You alright love?” I say to her in a voice not much louder than a whisper.

“Not really.” She replies, her eyes dropping down to my swollen lips.

“Can I help you feel better then?”

“Of course you can.”

And then my lip are against hers, her soft pink lips running themselves over mine as my rough hands begin to wander.

I begin to kiss her neck.

“Please let me leave a hickey.” I mutter against her warm skin, her pulse beating against my lips and fuelling me with energy. Her heart was racing and so was mine. 

She nods slightly moaning. The Urgency in her tone bursting through. Kissing Tyler as I blew him had got her all riled up and now she needed the attention. 

My head began to dip lower and lower until I again had the skin of someone I loved against my tongue and lips, Jenna’s hand crawled around the back of my skull, her fingers threading between my fine hairs. Pulling me closer. Both of us moaning as Jenna bit into her finger trying to quieten herself.

And then the door opened. 

And it was not Tyler.

-

Maddie and Zack Joseph’s shocked faces were suddenly all I could see and I’m sure all they could see what their brothers fiance with her legs thrown over their brother best friends shoulders, as said best friend buried his head between her thighs. 

Jenna gasped and pulled her legs away, but miscalculated her movements as she was pulling her dress down. Her legs hit me round the head and as I had been kneeling for the best part of half an hour, I toppled over. 

As I raised my head head, Zack and Maddie still looked shocked but now horrified at the idea of this betrayal. 

“We, We - we have to go tell Tyler” Maddie stumbles out as she turns and takes a few steps pulling Zack along.

But just as that happens Tyler and Mark walk around the corner. Before Maddie can even display or start to explain the horrific event that had just taken place, Mark shouts down the hall that Me and Tyler have to get on stage in a minute and need to go to the stage right now. 

Maddie shouts “Tyler, we have to tell you something-”

“Not now Maddie they have to go” Mark interrupts. Maddies jaw snaps up and wavers a bit looking like she might cry. 

“Guys go!” Mark shouts, staring at us.

The last thing we see is Mark throwing his arms around Maddie and asking what’s wrong.

-

As we walk to the stage. “What was that about?” Tyler asks, one of his eyebrows quirked up.

“Oh Jeez.”

Tyler stops abruptly. “What?”

I blink realising if I tell Tyler he’ll stress out and this is a massive show. He can’t be distracted. I know Jenna won’t let Maddie and Zack say anything as Mark will have to at some point start working. 

“Nothing ignore me” I say kindly.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” He persistently continues. 

“I promise it’s fine Ty, I’ll tell you after the show, it’s nothing.” …”Now let’s go!” I say as we have just stopped in the middle of the corridor and we need to be on stage in about 10 seconds. 

Tyler realises this too, he gives me a meaningful look and then turns around to go to his side of the stage. 

I take a deep breath in and nodded to myself before turning and going to my side of the stage. 

\--

“You survived to the end my friends, not everybody survives

And now you survived to the end of the show and you survived the end of the tour

I don’t know if i've told you this 

But I can’t think of a better place to end this thing than right here.

Thank you so much for having us

You Know I think about all the people I mention  
Or i've thought of

 

You know we wouldn’t be here without you

There's so many of you here in this room I can't name you all.

But  
Before last night 

The first and only time i've ever been in this building i was nine years old  
And my grandma took me to see the circus 

And my grandma Joan is here to watch us tonight to watch us play on this stage tonight. 

Ya know

I also need to mention my old band mate chris 

He was the first guy 

That really showed me, what to do when putting on a show

He said “Hey you see this cord you plug it into here and that show you get the piano to come out of the system. He taught me everything i know when it comes to this stuff 

He actually is the one who built that piano over there, seven years ago. 

And hes here tonight 

Thanks for everything you've done for us 

 

We've got guys on this crew, that have been here from the beginning. 

Daniel.

 

Mark.

 

Snider.

 

Chad.

Who am I forgetting. 

Chris and Brad you guys in us from the very beginning 

 

and it always feels like we're accepting our reward but honestly this kinda feels like one

We wouldn't be up here if not for a lot of people 

If they didn’t exist.

 

It is very important to know

That if you 

Our frens 

The clique 

Were not here tonight

This would not be possible 

Thank you so much for making this possible 

Thank for making our dreams come true, my frens.

 

The is one other person i would like to talk about 

We would not be on this stage right now if it weren't for, 

my very good friend Josh Dun.

Please give it up for him 

Listen.

I know you've been cheering all night 

But I know you got something else 

Josh dun on the drums everybody, come on.”

\--

 

As we walk off of the stage all I can see is Jenna linking arms with Maddie as both Maddie and Zack look extremely uncomfortable.

When they see us Maddie immediately starts glaring at Josh.

“What on earth did I miss?” I say to Josh.

Josh coughs and then awkwardly mutters “Maddie and Zack walked in on me and Jenna.”

“What do you mean walked in on you guys?”

He coughs again, looking straight ahead, “I was eating her out”

“OH!....oh” I say suddenly my eyes widening. 

\--  
After everyone busied down and stopped congratulating us.

Me, Jenna, Zack, Maddie and Josh went into a side room.

-

“Tyler, I don’t care what Jenna said, they were cheating on you.”

I just knew the look on my face looked like I was constipated.

I gulped, “Look Mad, Zack, we should explain something..”


	16. UPDATE

Hello, I have edited and re-uploaded this series with a whole new 10,000+ word chapter on Reading and Leeds. I will be continuing this series under the series and collection 'The Emotional Roadshow'. I really hope you enjoy the up-to-date series and hopefully you won't have to wait to long for the next instalment, which I'm already working on.


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